
Parenting Children Who Have Experienced Trauma
Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care
10/02/24
•52m
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Are you often bewildered by your child's behavior? Check out this interview with Dafna Lender, a LCSW and a certified trainer and supervisor/consultant in both Theraplay and Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy. She is also an EMDR therapist. She is the author of “Theraplay® – The Practitioner’s Guide” and “Integrative Attachment Family Therapy: A Clinical Guide to Heal and Strengthen the Parent-Child Relationship.”
In this episode, we cover:
Impact of Trauma
- What is trauma?
- Trauma vs PTSD vs. Development Trauma Disorder
- Neglect
- How does trauma impact the brain?
- How does this impact affect the child?
- Does the age of the child, when they experienced trauma, or the type of trauma affect the degree to which the child will be impacted?
- Impact of preverbal trauma- before the child has language and memory.
- If a child is able to leave the abusive situation, can it lower the impact of trauma or PTSD?
- Attachment trauma.
How to Best Parent a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma
- What is a typical behavior for a child who has experienced trauma?
- Internal working model formed with earliest caregivers that forms a template for future relationships with caregivers.
- The children often “reject you before you can reject them.”
- Importance of awareness of one’s own vulnerabilities and insecurities that may be triggered by caring for children with a history of trauma.
- How to help our kids heal and attach? Tips and Techniques.
How to Discipline a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma
- See behavior as developmental, not moral.
- Don’t spin into the future by predicting the worst. Deal with your fears.
- Recognize that ultimately, you can’t control your child. Understand what you can control, and you can only control yourself.
- Provide a balance of structure and nurture.
- Time-out?
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Previous Episode

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Question: I wanted to bring up something about your article on the risks for an expectant mom changing her mind. You have a point that says any placement before five months into the pregnancy is a risk. We recently had a match with a woman who was only four months along. We asked about this, and our agency tells us that there is no correlation between the time of the match and disruption. What is the truth?
Resources:
- Understanding the Birth Parent's Experience (Resource)
- Evaluating Risk Factors in Adoption (Resource)
- Choosing an Adoption Agency (Resource)
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Next Episode

Is Fostering Going to Hurt My Kids? - Weekend Wisdom
October 5, 2024
•9m
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Question: We are seriously considering becoming foster parents. We have 2 children by birth, and I am really worried about how this will affect them and what I can do to prevent some of the negative effects.
Resources:
- The Impact of Fostering and Adoption on Kids Already in the Family (Resource)
- Talking with your Resident Kids about Foster Care or Kinship Care (Resource)
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
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