My Son Is Struggling Because His Brother Has Contact With His Birth Mom and He Doesn't - Weekend Wisdom
Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care
07/27/24
•6m
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Question: I’m a foster-to-adopt mom. I have 3 children. Two have already been adopted, and we are in the process of adopting one. My oldest son, who is 5 years old and turning 6 in Aug, had parental visits, but they were terminated when the parental rights were terminated, and he no longer sees them. It's been a year since the last visit. My daughter never had visits and doesn’t see her bio family, but I send the family a twice-a-year email with photos and updates. My current foster child, who is 4 years old, has once-a-week phone calls with his mom, who is in prison. My 5-year-old son is really struggling with seeing his younger brother getting phone calls with his bio Mom since he no longer sees his bio parents, and it’s hard for him to understand why his brother talks to his mom, but he does not. Each one of my child's stories is very different, but my oldest one notices the differences and doesn't understand why they're in the same family but have different relationships with past foster families and biological parents. How do I navigate this as he gets older?
Resources:
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Previous Episode
Raising Capable Kids (Regardless of Their Label)
July 24, 2024
•45m
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Does your child have a disability or have some label? If so, you need to listen to this interview with Dr. Deborah Winking, an educational psychologist and a special education teacher. She is the author of Capable: A Story of Triumph for Children the World Has Judges as “Different” and Raising Capable Kids. She is the mother of four, including one adopted child and one child with a neurological disorder.
In this episode, we cover:
Many of our kids have hidden disabilities caused by trauma. These disabilities can look like so many different things, including behavior problems.
You say these 12 habits are to change yourself, not your child. Why?
- Habit 1: Believe that effort creates ability
- Habit 3: Set a vision of capability with your child and adjust it over time
- Habit 6: Send capable messages: Use words and act in ways that let your child know that you think they are capable
- Habit 8: Challenge your child in ways that regularly take them (and you) outside your comfort zone.
- Habit 10: Allow your child to make choices and experience the consequences of those choices
- Habit 11: celebrate your child’s persistence to build a narrative of strength
Order your copy of Raising Capable Kids & use code: Capable20 for a 20% discount and free shipping.
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Next Episode
Predicting and Coping with Failed Adoption Matches
July 31, 2024
•40m
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If you are considering domestic infant adoption, you need to listen to this show to better understand the possibility that the expectant mom may change her mind. Our guest is adoption attorney, Lila Bradley, who has practiced law relating to adoption and child welfare law for the past 20 years.
In this episode, we discuss:
- Distinction between failed match and adoption dissolution or sometimes known as disruption.
- What is the “typical” process for domestic infant adoption whether the adoptive parents are using an adoption agency or an adoption attorney?
- When do the adoptive parents legally become the baby’s parents?
- When can a mom change her mind and decide to parent the baby?
- Keep in mind that what prospective adoptive parents see as a “failure” very well may be seen as a “success” by the biological parents.
- Creating a Family resource: Failed Adoption Matches: How Common? How Costly? How to Survive
- What are some signs that an adoption match may fail and the mom will decide to parent?
- When is the most common time for a mom to change her mind and decide to parent?
- Does it matter what stage of pregnancy the match was made?
- How often do biological moms change their mind about placing their baby for adoption?
- Do adoptive parents lose money if the adoption match fails?
- Suggestions on how adoptive parents can cope when an adoption match falls apart?
- Do adoption matches with foster children disrupt?
- Do adoption matches in international adoption disrupt?
- Do adoptions disrupt after finalization?
Resources:
- Failed Adoption Matches: How Common? How Costly? How to Survive
- State laws on when expectant parents can change their mind about relinquishing their child for adoption.
- Children's Bureau
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
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