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Modern Wisdom - Why We Fall for the Wrong People - Jessica Baum - #1020
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Why We Fall for the Wrong People - Jessica Baum - #1020

Modern Wisdom

11/15/25

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Jessica Baum is a psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author.

What does it actually take to feel safe in a relationship? If you’ve had chaotic partners or a past where you never knew where you stood, safety can feel like work instead of something natural. So how do you rebuild that sense of security, and what steps help you learn to feel safe with someone again?

Expect to learn what the best definition of safety in a relationship is, what some of the signs for someone feeling unsafe in a relationship from their nervous system is, the common protection strategies and inner protectors people develop, why we confuse independence with strength, why romantic relationships reflect early attachment wounds, why anxious and avoidant people find each other so magnetic, how to retrain the body to feel safe after chaos and much more...

Timestamps:

(0:00) How Can We Create a Sense of Safety? (4:53) Are Independent Women Becoming Disconnected with Their Bodies? (13:26) The Power of Slowing Down: Why Our Nervous Systems Needs It (19:18) Why We Confuse Familiarity with Safety, Even When It Hurts Us (36:47) Why Feeling Safe Feels So Vulnerable (41:11) Anchoring, Co-Regulation and Reaching the Ventral State (47:11) Healing the Wounds You Inherited (54:02) Practical Tools For Building Safety in Your Relationship (58:42) Why Rupture and Repair is the Foundation of a Healthy Relationship (01:04:23) Should You Stay, or Should You Leave? (01:10:36) Where to Find Jessica

Sponsors:

Modern Wisdom Merch available now - https://www.mwmerch.com

🚀 Live until Tuesday, 18th Nov

See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://chriswillx.com/deals

Get up to 60% off during Gymshark's Black Friday Sale starting Nov 16th at https://gym.sh/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM10)

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Get 60% off an annual plan of Incogni at https:/incogni.com/modernwisdom

Extra Stuff:

Check out Jessica's book: https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/safe

Jessica's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc

Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books

Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom

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Check out Jessica Baum's new book "SAFE" here: https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/interviewJessica's Socials: https://www.facebook.com/consciousrelationshipgroup?mibextid=wwXIfrhttps://www.instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-baum-lmhc-cap-038a1538?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app

Episodes You Might Enjoy:

#577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins⁠⁠⁠

#712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: ⁠⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson⁠⁠⁠

#700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: ⁠⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman⁠⁠

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Get In Touch:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast

Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact

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Previous Episode

Fin Taylor is an English comedian, writer and podcaster.

Horatio Gould is also an English comedian, writer, and podcaster.

History is basically one long reminder that no matter how bad your day is, someone in the past was probably getting catapulted off a castle wall. Feel better? Good. Humanity may be a litany of disasters, but the past is packed with lessons, even some dark humor, if you look closely enough.

Expect to learn what makes the Japanese unique and why so many Japanese people practiced Seppuku, why post-war Europe was the funniest time in modern history, wether life was better in the past or just way, way worse than we imagined, why there is a rise of pro-Hitler media across social media, if too much irony is a bad thing, why racism is so ingrained in modern science, if fertility and embryo science has gone too far and much more...

Timestamps:

(0:00) What Makes Japanese Culture So Distinct? (9:44) Was Post-War Britain the Funniest Time in History? (18:15) The Unlikely Heroes of Post-War Britain (22:30) Life Has Been Much Worse (27:12) How Would Historical Leaders Cope in Today’s World? (32:10) The Shocking Rise of Pro-Hilter Media (42:01) Were the Aztecs as Brutal as We Think? (46:33) Will Bryan Johnson Actually Live to 120? (53:58) Is Too Much Irony a Bad Thing? (01:07:38) Why Was Racism So Ingrained in Science? (01:21:08) When Does Embryo Selection Go Too Far? (01:31:12) What’s Next for Fin and Horatio?

Sponsors:

See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://chriswillx.com/deals

Get $100 off the best bloodwork analysis in America at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom

Get Free Travel Packs, Free Liquid Vitamin D, and more from AG1 at https://ag1.info/modernwisdom

Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom

Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom

Extra Stuff:

Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books

Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom

Episodes You Might Enjoy:

#577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins⁠⁠⁠

#712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: ⁠⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson⁠⁠⁠

#700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: ⁠⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman⁠⁠

-

Get In Touch:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast

Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact

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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Next Episode

Louise Perry is a writer, Press Officer for the campaign group We Can’t Consent To This and an author.

Mary Harrington is a writer, columnist and author.

Why are young people having less sex than ever? Has something in our evolution shifted, or has modern life become so confusing that we can’t even tell what we’re attracted to anymore? What’s really happening to relationships today, and is there anything we can do to fix it?

Timestamps:

(0:00) Could Taylor Swift’s Engagement Shift the Declining Birth Rate? (14:06) Are We Underestimating the Power of ‘the Auntie’? (22:44) The Rise of the Labubu Man (32:37) Do Women Prefer Labubu Men or Himbos? (49:18) Will the English Flag Start a Culture War? (01:01:30) Is Lifestyle BDSM Just Princess Treatment in Disguise? (01:13:20) What Does It Take to Form Good Men? (01:23:19) How #MeToo Changed the Way Men Approach Women (01:40:14) How Can Men Walk the Line Between Masculine and Feminine Energy? (01:46:04) Did #MeToo Kill Schlub Feminism? (01:54:31) Do Women Really Want a Shredded Man? (02:03:38) Are Progressive Women Turning to the Right? (02:13:23) Where to Find Louise and Mary

Sponsors:

Modern Wisdom Merch available now - ⁠https://www.mwmerch.com⁠

🚀 Live until Tuesday, 18th Nov

See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://chriswillx.com/deals

Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom

Get a free bottle of D3K2, an AG1 Welcome Kit, and more when you first subscribe at https://ag1.info/modernwisdom

Get $100 off the best bloodwork analysis in America at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom

Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom

Extra Stuff:

Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books

Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom

Episodes You Might Enjoy:

#577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins⁠⁠⁠

#712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: ⁠⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson⁠⁠⁠

#700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: ⁠⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman⁠⁠

-

Get In Touch:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast

Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact

-

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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