![Don't Mom Alone Podcast - Who's Holding You? Your Soul is Worth Tending :: Dr. Alison Cook [Ep 586]](https://audioboom.com/i/39842989.avif)
Who's Holding You? Your Soul is Worth Tending :: Dr. Alison Cook [Ep 586]
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
08/17/26
•46m
About
Comments
Featured In
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Alison Cook to talk about attachment, emotional healing, and the ways our relationships shape how we understand ourselves, others, and God.
We all have a deep need for connection, safety, and belonging, but we can sometimes place too much pressure on the people around us to meet those needs. Dr. Cook explains why human relationships are important while also reminding us that no person can be the ultimate source of everything our souls need. There is a deeper attachment available to us through God.
We also talk about what happens when old wounds surface, particularly when we finally feel safe enough for those parts of us to emerge. Dr. Cook describes these experiences as “soul ruptures”, moments when core memories and beliefs about ourselves can become activated. Instead of responding with shame or criticism, we can learn to slow down, notice what we're feeling, and become curious about what that part of us needs.
This conversation is especially meaningful for moms who spend so much of their time caring for everyone else. When we’re constantly focused on our children’s needs, it can be easy to lose touch with what’s happening inside of us. Dr. Cook encourages us to make space for our own souls, tend to the younger parts of ourselves that still need care, and allow God’s healing presence into those places. Our souls are worth tending to, too.
In This Episode
- Why attachment is such a fundamental human need
- Why we can’t expect another person to meet all of our emotional needs
- What divine attachment means and how God becomes our ultimate source of connection
- Why parts of us can surface when we finally feel safe
- What a soul rupture is and how core memories can continue to affect us
- How shame and blame show up when we feel like we don’t belong
- Learning to recognize and care for the younger parts of ourselves
- What it means to “parent your soul”
- Recognizing our internal bids for connection
- Why healing requires space for difficult emotions
- How moms can make more room for their own emotional and spiritual needs
- Why we don’t change through shame or criticism
Connect with Dr. Alison Cook:
- Website: Dr. Alison Cook
- Instagram: Dr. Alison Cook | Psychotherapist + Secure Attachment (@dralisoncook)
- Facebook: Dr. Alison Cook
Links Mentioned:
- The Secure Soul: By Dr. Alison Cook
- Boundaries for Your Soul: By Dr. Alison Cook
- You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: By Richard Schwartz PhD
- Dr. Alison Cook | The Best of You Podcast
- The Best of You Every Day Podcast - 8 minute devotional
- Building Healthy Relationships by Exploring Adult Attachment Patterns (Part 1) :: Charissa Lopez [Ep 498]
- Building Healthy Relationships by Exploring Adult Attachment Patterns (Part 2) :: Charissa Lopez [Ep 499]
- Strengthening the Relationship with Your Adult Child :: Kathy Cunningham [Ep 543]
Featured Sponsors:
- Our place: Upgrade your kitchen with Our Place today. Visit fromourplace.com/DMA and use code DMA for 10% off sitewide. With a 100-day trial, you can try it completely risk-free.
- Oak Essentials: The Luminous Body Lotion has sold out multiple times — and once you try it, you’ll understand why....
Previous Episode
As moms, it's so easy to compare our children to everyone else's. We wonder why one child seems to thrive in situations where another struggles. We ask ourselves if we're doing something wrong or if we'd somehow be a better parent if our child were different.
But what if God intentionally gave you the child you have?
In this episode, I'm talking about what it looks like to parent the child God created instead of the child we expected. Everyone has a unique personality, unique strengths, unique struggles, and a unique purpose. Our job isn't to force them into a mold, it’s to become students of who God made them to be.
I share an episode with Sally Clarkson and her son Nathan about how our parenting often changes when we begin looking beyond behavior and start asking what our children truly need. Sometimes what looks like defiance is anxiety. Sometimes what looks like impulsiveness may be part of how God uniquely wired them. As parents, we have the opportunity to respond with curiosity, compassion, and wisdom instead of frustration.
We'll also discuss the reality of raising children with ADHD, OCD, sensory challenges, autism, or other forms of neurodivergence. Receiving a diagnosis can feel overwhelming, but it doesn't define your child. It simply gives you a better map for understanding how they experience the world. God isn't surprised by your child's wiring, and He certainly isn't limited by it.
Remember, God didn't make a mistake when He gave your child to you. He chose you to be their mom for a reason, and He promises to give you the wisdom and grace you need for every step of the journey.
Connect with Sally Clarkson:
- Website: SallyClarkson.com
- Instagram: Sally Clarkson (@sally.clarkson)
- Facebook: Sally Clarkson
- Don't Mom Alone: By Heather MacFadyen
- Different: By Sally and Nathan Clarkson
- Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
- Loving Your “Different” Child :: Sally and Nathan Clarkson [Ep 149]
- Mothering Autism: Navigating Grief, Marriage, and Community :: Carrie Cariello, Kate Swenson, and Adrian Wood [Ep 515]
- Hiya Health: We've worked out a special deal with Hiya. Receive 50% off your first order on any of their products. To claim this deal you must go to hiyahealth.com/DMA. This deal is not available on their regular website. Get your kids the full-body support they deserve.
- Honeylove: Treat yourself to the most advanced bras and shapewear on the market. Use our exclusive link to save 20% off Honeylove at honeylove.com/DMA . Experience the new standard in comfort and support with Honeylove.
- Branch Basics: And here’s the good news—Branch Basics is now available everywhere you shop: at Target, Target.com, Amazon, and of course, BranchBasics.com. Tossing the toxins has never been more convenient! For anyone grabbing the Premium Starter Kit, you can still get 15% off at BranchBasics.com with our code [DMA]. The Premium Starter Kit comes with The Concentrate, and refillable bottles for your surface cleaners, including All-Purpose, Bathroom, Streak-Free, Foaming Hand Wash, and Laundry. It also comes with Oxygen Boost for extra stubborn stains on pots and pans, laundry, bathroom tile and more. This kit is a great way to kickstart your human-safe cleaning routine
Next Episode
What happens when our kids grow up and our role as their mom begins to change?
This is something I think so many moms struggle with, but we don't always talk about it. When our kids are young, there is so much support and conversation around parenting. But once they become adults, the challenges can feel much more complicated and lonely.
We can find ourselves comparing our kids' lives. Where did they go to college? Are they married? Do they have kids? What are they doing with their lives? And then there are the harder questions. What happens when our adult child makes choices we don't understand? What happens when they pull away from us? And what happens when there is little or no contact at all?
In this episode, I talk with Dr. Jim Burns about one of the hardest topics many parents face: estrangement from an adult child. We talk about what estrangement can look like, why parents often ask themselves, "What did I do wrong?" and how we can move from heartache to hope.
One of the biggest reminders in this conversation is that we cannot fix our adult children. But we can learn how to love them well, communicate differently, and keep the door open for reconciliation.
In This Episode, We Talk About:
- Why moms often struggle silently when parenting adult children
- The comparison game that can happen when our kids become adults
- What adult child estrangement can look like
- Why parents often blame themselves when a child pulls away
- Why unsolicited advice can feel like criticism
- How to become the calmest person in the room
- Being a safe person without becoming a doormat
- Moving from being an advice giver to becoming a mentor
- How to respond when we feel defensive or hurt
Connect with Dr. Jim Burns:
- Website: HomeWord
- Instagram: Dr. Jim Burns and Doug Fields (@homewordfamily)
- Facebook: HomeWord Family
- When Your Adult Child Strays: By Jim Burns Ph.D
- Doing Life with Your Adult Children: By Jim Burns Ph.D
- Boundaries: By Henry Cloud and John Townsend
- Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child: By Tina Gilbertson
- Jim Burns Podcast - HomeWord
- Strengthening the Relationship with Your Adult Child :: Kathy Cunningham [Ep 543]
- How to {really} Parent with Grace :: Jeannie Cunnion {Ep 55}
- “How do I connect better with my kids?” [Ep 475]
Featured Sponsors:
- Honeylove: Save 20% off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/DMA #honeylovepodExperience the new standard in comfort and support with Honeylove.
- Wayfair: Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. Every Style. Every Home.
If you like this episode you’ll love
Promoted