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Don't Mom Alone Podcast - Sinners Married to Sinners Cheryl Scruggs Jae Carpenter Ep 195
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Sinners Married to Sinners Cheryl Scruggs Jae Carpenter Ep 195

Don't Mom Alone Podcast

02/26/18

66m

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It’s not all sunshine and roses in marriage, even when both you and your husband follow Jesus. My guests today share about one of the most painful possibilities in a marriage —infidelity.

My friend Jae tells her story of learning her husband had an affair and the work God did in both of their lives to restore their marriage. Licensed professional counselor Cheryl Scruggs shares about her infidelity, divorce, and eventual re-marriage, along with a lot of practical advice and scriptures she learned in the seven years she was separated from her husband.

The main takeaway? HOPE. There is hope for your marriage. It’s not easy, because we’re all sinners, but God can heal and restore us when we surrender it all to him.

For all of us in marriage, I think it’s important that we are paying attention. In John 10:10 it says that the thief comes kill, steal and destroy, but I have come to give you life and life abundantly. God wants us to have a great marriage, not easy, not perfect. But it’s really understanding we’re both sinners and how are we going to walk this walk together in this relationship as a sinner married to a sinner.

**If you are in a relationship where you or your children have been physically abused, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or http://www.thehotline.org.

What we chat about:
  • Cheryl Scruggs and Jae share their marriage stories.
  • Discovering God’s plans for marriage.
  • Hope for restoration in marriage even after an affair.
  • How do you know if God is asking you to stay in a marriage?
  • Trusting God with your spouse and being open to what he wants to teach you and show you.
  • Understanding our role as a wife God has called you to be.
  • Recognizing the situations where it’s necessary to leave a marriage (physical safety, lifestyle of infidelity).
  • It takes time for healing in marriage.
  • Physical intimacy throughout marriage conflicts.
  • Balancing advice from friends and family with what God wants for your marriage.
  • Biblical roles in marriage.
Scriptures Mentioned:
    • Eph. 3:20 – Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us
    • Matthew 19:26 – Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
    • Deuteronomy 8:1-10 – Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land the Lord promised on oath to your ancestors. Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands... For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land. [read full passage]
    • John 10:10 – The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
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Previous Episode

We know that God’s word is living and active. Today’s guest Jodie Berndt takes us through using Bible verses as prayers that can powerfully influence your children’s lives.

There is so much encouragement in this episode for standing on the truth of God’s word and relying on scripture to help shape your children, teens and adult children. Of course, we as moms can’t help but be changed when we hide his word in our hearts and pray them over our family.

We know that he is a loving God who knows our needs and our kids’ needs better than we know them. So when we lift our children to him and surrender them, he’s going to do for them what he knows they need. It might not be necessarily in the timing or the ways that he would’ve ordained, but in Isaiah 55 it says that his ways are higher and better than our ways. When we come to believe that, it can really bring peace to our lives.

What we chat about:
  • Using God’s word for prayers is powerful.
  • There isn’t a need we’ll face in parenting that God hasn’t provided for in his word.
  • Specific scriptures to pray for your child’s salvation
  • Asking God what we can nurture and pray for in each child’s unique giftings
  • God will accomplish the changes in your child’s character. Our job is to partner with him.
  • Praying against fear and for protection
  • Asking God to shape your children into good friends
  • Processing popular media with your kids and discussing how it aligns or doesn’t align with a Godly world view
  • The power of having others pray for your kids in community
  • When prayers aren’t answered the way we want, God is still writing their stories.
  • Free resources available at https://jodieberndt.com/resources
Scriptures Mentioned:
  • Ephesians 4:29 – Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
  • John 15:7 – If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
  • Psalm 121:7-8 – The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
  • Acts 26:18 – Open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.
  • 2 Corinthians 5:17 – Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!
  • Colossians 3:12 – Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
  • Philippians 2:13 – for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.
  • Psalm 91:11 – For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
  • Proverbs 17:17 – Shape my child into a friend who loves at all times
  • Proverbs 27:17 – As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
  • Proverbs 16:28 – A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.
Links Mentioned:

Next Episode

Life is full of decisions. We do our best to choose wisely and follow God’s lead. Sometimes God leads us in a different direction. It doesn’t always make “sense” in the moment. And it definitely isn’t easy to share those changes with others.

It’s been over a year since we’ve given you a glimpse behind the scenes. In that time A LOT has happened in our world: new job, school shifts, adopting & “re-homing” a puppy. So I’m bringing my hubby Bruce back on the show to share one concept he’s used at work for years and he has helped me process the last year of change.

In this episode Bruce and I let you in on the thought process behind our life choices. Hoping this conversation will allow you grace to change your mind without the fear of what others think.

I reserve the right to change my mind and not have to explain it to you, but every person who hears about it wants to know the whole story. What I’ve found is people want to know the should. Every time I talk to a mom, they are feeling this pressure to get it all right, so then when they hear a story that doesn’t work out or where you changed your mind they are trying to analyze the rightness of it.

What we chat about:
  • What’s happened in the MacFadyen family in the past year
  • Bruce’s current business, Door Real Estate Brokerage
  • The mantra, “I always reserve the right to change my mind”
  • Making the decision to send one of our sons back to school after a semester of homeschooling
  • What happened with our dog
  • Giving yourself freedom to change your mind
  • Being gracious to others who change their minds
  • Why we need to give our kids and ourselves permission to make mistakes
  • Working to create an environment at home where it’s okay to change your mind and make mistakes
  • In all of the decisions in life it’s about balance and listening to God’s voice
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