
Breaking Up with Perfect :: Summer of Mentorship Week 4
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
07/12/21
•40m
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If you've ever strived for perfection, then you know how it feels when you fall short.
Maybe you aren't the one carrying a list of all you "need to do to earn God's love." But more the type who carries a "Never Good Enough List” with all the reasons you'll never be able to earn His love.
Either way, Amy Carroll, (author, speaker, Proverbs 31 contributor) is on the podcast this week helping us break up with perfect.
In this episode (and in her new book), Amy helps us recognize the lies we have been believing and the Truth to set us free.
Lies like: "I was created to produce perfection" or "People are obstacles to my tasks" or "If I have the right stuff, my life will be perfect."
My favorite quote from our conversation was:
Only when I end my own pursuit of perfection can God do a perfecting work in me. --Amy Carroll
May you experience a supernatural freedom from the struggle to be perfect. May your friendships deepen, your family be strengthened and your awareness of God's love grow as you stop striving and surrender to His gentle heart work.
Connect with Amy:Breaking Up with Perfect :: Blog :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest
What we chat about:- The events making Amy aware of her perfectionism
- The impact a mentor had in Amy's journey to lose the list of perfect
- The supernatural work God did on Amy to break the shell around her heart, to feel His love
- The two perfect super moms in Amy's head--torn between two ideals.
- The destruction of friendship when perfectionism enters.
- The different types of perfectionists and their lists: good girl list or the never-good-enough list
- The possibility of passing on perfectionism to our kids.
- Courtney DeFeo--our connector
- Breaking up with Perfect
- Dr. Caroline Leaf
- Proverbs 31 Ministries
- The Opinion Blender--didn't mention in podcast, but found it on Amy's site. . .such great advice
- Have you had friendships end because of your struggles with perfection? When friends go through hard times do you wonder how to be a good, imperfect friend?
- Do you have a mentor? Is there someone you wish you could meet with? Could you make a plan to meet with her once in the next few months?
- Could you relate to Amy’s struggle to feel God’s love and having a list of things you have to do to be right with God?
- What areas are you striving for perfection in motherhood? Who is your mental ‘ideal’ mom? Earth-mama, right-on-schedule mom?
- Which type of perfectionist do you relate to—the good girl list or the never-good-enough list? Need to measure up or will never measure up? Or do you swing between the lists?
- What have you found helpful to break up with perfection?
- Betterhelp--get 10% off your first month of secure online professional counseling betterhelp.com/DMA
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Previous Episode

Identifying Your “Wifestyle” :: Summer of Mentorship Week 3
July 5, 2021
•46m
Our first year of marriage was HARD. And we hit another rough patch (a.k.a. the “come to Jesus” days) after our second son was born. I took all the marriage advice I could get.
For all you mommas out there looking for a little marriage help, I’ve invited Jen Weaver on the show to talk about her newest book, “A Wife’s Secret to Happiness”. This episode originally aired on March 6, 2017.
Jen is an adorable millennial who knows God’s Word and isn’t afraid to hit the marriage topic head on. She shares some great insights on a few controversial issues. But more than anything she helps us identify the marriage habits (a.k.a., “WifeStyles”) that are attracting or denying the blessings God has for our marriages.
What we chat about:- What is a “wifestyle”?
- Habits that can attract or deny the blessings God has for our marriages
- The slightly-controversial topic of “submission”
- Making room for your spouse to lead and space for the Lord to speak.
- What about when your spouse isn’t walking with the Lord?
- Wifestyles: “braided” or “frayed”
- What Jesus asked Jen.
- Wifestyles: “doubtful” or “decided”
- When you go through a relationship winter after a new baby
- Hebrew convo about “chayil”and Proverbs 31 woman who is a wife of valor
- “A Wife’s Secret to Happiness” by Jen Weaver ***
- Francie Winslow (ep 61-Power of Sex in Marriage &ep 138 Ripple effect of healthy sexual connection)
- Discuss the idea of submission the way it’s described in the episode.
- How can you choose to make space for your spouse to lead in your relationship? In what ways do you lead?
- Do you feel frayed or braided with God right now? How can you rebraid your attention back toward God?
- What was your most recent relationship winter? How did you come through that?
- What are your Proverbs 31 wife superpowers? How do you use your strengths in a way that blesses and doesn’t hinder?
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Next Episode

Encouraging the Exhausted Mom :: Summer of Mentorship Week 5
July 19, 2021
•44m
Mush brain.
That’s how I’d describe my mind after years and years of sleep deprivation.
Most young moms (especially if you had lots of littles in a row) know the challenge of forming a complete thought. Or staying focused during a quiet time. Or even having a moment alone with God.
I know Jennie understands.
Jennie is a sweet mom of two from Cambridge, England. She emailed me sharing struggles with sleep deprivation. Her son suffered from a serious of medical challenges leaving them with four years of interrupted sleep.
She knows the power of a strong relationship with God. But in this season has found connecting deeply with Him difficult given her exhausted, “mush brain”.
The mentor that I called to answer Jennie’s questions is the amazing Sally Clarkson.
Sally understands having children who don’t sleep and she’s been through her share of challenging seasons. From those experiences and others she began to mentor young moms and encourage other women to do the same .
In this episode, Sally helps moms move beyond traditional spiritual disciplines to experience God in their everyday moments. Inspiring us to find the goodness of God, by intentionally filling our lives with beauty and pleasure.
For the exhausted mom who longs to know God better, I hope this episode gives you peace, perspective and practical ideas.
Connect with Sally Clarkson:Site :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest
What we chat about:Jennie’s Questions:
- How do I have a decent quiet time when I’m exhausted?
- What tips do you have for getting through challenging circumstances?
- Does a hard season have long-term impacts on your faith?
Sally’s Answers:
- Motherhood is a battleground.
- What we struggle through is normal and women for generations have experienced it.
- God created us to be in community. God is present through people.
- Build things into your life to enjoy the goodness of God.
Other topics we cover:
- Journaling prayers
- Breath prayers
- Physical rest vs. soul rest
- Jubilee Centre
- Own Your Life: Living with Deep Intention, Bold Faith, and Generous Love** by Sally Clarkson
- MomHeart Groups
- How to Study Your Bible ** by Kay Arthur (Inductive Studies)
- Lacey Dobrient, “The Color Method” (Hear more about it from her interview on the podcast–Episode 63
- HelloMornings
- Philip Yancy
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