Introduction to Foster Parenting

Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

09/21/22

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52m

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Have you ever thought about becoming a foster parent? If so, this is the podcast for you! We talk with Arnie Eby, the Executive Director of the National Foster Parent Association and a foster parent for 22 years; and Angie Jones, a licensed clinical social worker and the Intensive Service Foster Care Recruiter and Trainer at Vista Del Mar, an agency placing foster children.

In this episode, we cover:

What is the goal of the foster care system?
How to become a foster parent?
What are the typical requirements for becoming a foster parent?
What disqualifies you to become a foster parent?
What type of pre-service training is involved?
How long does it usually take to become a licensed foster parent?
Who licenses foster parents?
What types of questions should parents ask when deciding on which agency to work with?
What are the different levels of licensing for foster homes?
Do foster parents get paid?
Can you foster if you rent your home or apartment?
Does one parent have to be at home if they want to have infants or young pre-school aged children placed with them?
How much control do foster parents have on which child is placed with them?
What is expected of foster parents when a child is placed with them?
Can you travel with a foster child? Out of state? Out of the country?
What is shared parenting or co-parenting?
What type of support should foster parents expect from the agency they are licensed through?
Is it possible to adopt your foster child?
How do you foster and adopt?
How much control do foster parents have on visitation, medical treatment, mental health care, and reunification?
How to cope with the grief when a foster child leaves?
Where can foster parents turn for support?

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Previous Episode

Therapeutic Parenting: Strategies and Solutions

September 14, 2022

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64m

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We talk today with Sarah Naish, the CEO of the Center of Excellence in Child Trauma and founder of the National Association of Therapeutic Parents. She is the author of "The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting" and "The A-Z of Survival Strategies for Therapeutic Parents." She is the adoptive mom to a sibling group of 5 who are now adults and she has fostered over 40 kids.
In this episode, we cover:

Why are some kids harder to parent and why especially are kids who have experienced trauma, including prenatal trauma, often harder to parent?
Understanding the cause of the behavior is the root of parenting harder to parent kids.
Establish the basics to make their lives predictable so they can feel safe and grow and heal. The elements for establishing this base:
- Routines
- Establish yourself as a safe base-empathetic and nurturing but in control
  - Respond to the child, not to the child’s demand
Be honest about their story, contact, etc. – be factual, but don’t fill in the gaps
Establish strong, clear boundaries- what to do when these boundaries are crossed?
Use natural or life consequences
- Our kids may not recognize cause and effect.
  - Early trauma, including prenatal exposure, can hinder a child’s ability to recognize cause and effect
  - Our kids may be developmentally younger than their chronological years which also impacts understanding.
- Natural consequences help children recognize that they can make an impact on the world-helps them make sense of the world
- Combine natural consequences with nurturance.
How to handle incidents when they happen. PARENTS model.
- Pause-to allow you to respond with intention not emotion.
- Assess-is anyone in danger or serious damage.
- Reflection-quick reflection to identify the trigger.
- Empathize rather than ask questions
  - use empathetic commentary-
  - respond to their feelings rather than the behavior.
- Nurture-examples of nurturing in the heat of the moment.
- Think about next action to take.
  - What strategies might I use to resolve this? Do you need to do anything else?
  - How can we avoid this situation in the future?
- Self-care
Other parenting strategies for harder to parent kids. Other tools for your toolkit.
- Identify your triggers.
- Set realistic expectations.
- Use silliness or playfulness.
- Remove the audience.
- Help kids show they are sorry rather than demand they say they are sorry.
- The phone strategy.
- Watch what the child is doing rather than what she is saying.
- Payback time.
- Admit it when you made a mistake.

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Next Episode

Finding an Adoption and Foster Competent Therapist

September 28, 2022

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45m

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Do you think your child or your family would benefit from counseling? How do you find the right therapist and how can you tell in advance if they will be a good fit for your family? We talk with Debbie Riley, a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist and CEO of the Center for Adoption Support and Education.
In this episode, we cover:

What type of professional can provide therapy to an adopted or foster child or family?
What’s the difference between being adoption competent and adoption informed?
Why is competency in adoption or foster issues important?
What do we mean be an “adoption competent therapist”? What makes a therapist adoption competent?
Is adoption/foster competence the same as trauma competence?
How can you tell if a therapist is competent to handle adoption or foster issues? Are there specific trainings that provide adoption competency?
Creating a Family provides a list of ways to find an adoption competent therapist on our Adoption Therapy section.
Is one type of therapeutic model of treatment more effective for adoptive children and families? Theraplay, Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy, Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI), Narrative therapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), etc.
Should therapy with adopted kids on adoption issues involve just the child, or the child and the parent?
What is home-based therapy and are there advantages to this type of therapy for adoptive and foster families.
How can you find a therapist that will provide therapy within the home? (One source is http://www.familycenteredtreatment.org/)
Is therapy via tele-health or via teleconferencing as effective for adopted children? For families? How to know if it will work for your family? Ways to make it more effective.
How can a parent determine if the therapist is a good fit for the child and family? What questions should they ask?
How many sessions to try?
When to seek a therapist?
How to find a therapist with lived experience of being adopted?