I Feel Awful, But I Wish We Hadn't Adopted - Weekend Wisdom

Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

04/21/24

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Question: I was the one who wanted to adopt. My husband agreed because I wanted it so bad, but now, I’m the one who wishes we hadn’t done it. We adopted a 5-year-old little girl, who is now 7. The awful truth is that I don’t love this child. I don’t even like her very much. I wish I could turn back the clock.
Resources:

Creating and Cultivating Attachment (Resource)
Understanding and Overcoming Blocked Care (Free Course)
Creating a Family Online Support Group

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

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Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

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Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Previous Episode

What You Need to Know About Open Adoption

April 17, 2024

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45m

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Are you confused about having an open adoption? Do you worry about what this means for your family. Join us today to talk about open adoption with Sara Easterly, an adoptee, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, a birth parent, and Lori Holden, an adoptive parent. In addition to co-authoring the book, "Adoption Unfiltered", they host a podcast of the same name.
In this episode, we cover:

What is meant by the term “open adoption”?
Contact vs. openness.
What open adoption is not:
- Co-parenting
- A courtesy to birth parents
- Confusing to the kids
- About/for the parents
What are some of the challenges of open adoption from the birth parents’ perspective?
- Lack of understanding of what open adoption means when they place their child.
- Renewed pain after each contact
- Two vs. one
- Lack of power
- Fear
What are some of the challenges of open adoption from the adoptive parents’ perspective?
What are some of the challenges of open adoption from the adoptee's standpoint?
What are some of the benefits of open adoption from the adoptee’s perspective?
What are some benefits of open adoption from the birth parent’s perspective?
What are some of the benefits of open adoption for adoptive parents?
How to establish healthy boundaries with an open adoption, including both ways.
- Examples of healthy boundaries from the adoptive parents’ perspective.
- Examples of healthy boundaries from the birth parents’ perspective.
- Examples of healthy boundaries from the adoptee standpoint.
- Keys to establishing healthy boundaries.
How do you handle “openness” when birth parents are unreliable?
How to maintain an attitude of openness or the spirit of openness without contact.
Importance of birth siblings. How the existence of children that the birth parents are parenting affects adopted children.
Allow space for change and growth on all sides of the adoption constellation: birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees.

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Next Episode

Suicide Awareness and Prevention

April 24, 2024

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48m

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Join us to talk about the very important topic of youth suicide. Our guest will be Dr. Angela Tunno, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Assistant Professor at Duke University Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science. One of her areas of specialty is trauma-informed suicide prevention.
In this episode, we cover:

Suicide is one of the leading causes of preventable death in the US.
How prevalent is suicide in the US for all ages?
How common is suicide for people under 21?
How common is suicide for children and youth in foster care or otherwise connected to child welfare?
Why are youth in foster care at greater risk for suicide?
What are some warning signs that a child or youth may be considering suicide?
What are the risk factors for a youth or child who may be at greater danger of suicide?
Are youth with other diagnoses more at risk for suicide? (For example, ADHD?)
Who is in the position when a child is in foster care to recognize these signs?
If you are worried that a child/youth may be contemplating suicide, what are the evidence-based steps you should take? How to be trauma-informed when helping to prevent a child or youth from committing suicide?
Get support or therapy for yourself to help you cope and to help you support the youth better.
When should we take the youth to the hospital?

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