#152 The Legendary Kathy Bates Explains How to Live a Remarkable Life | Impact Theory
Tom Bilyeu's Impact Theory
12/17/19
•59m
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Legendary actress Kathy Bates has probably lost count of how many awards she has been nominated for and won. But very few people know about her battles with cancer, her family history of suicide attempts, or her own struggles with PTSD and depression. On this episode of Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu, Kathy Bates talks about gratitude, moments of grace, and the fact that you don’t have to be perfect to be remarkable. Along the way she tells stories of healing and tragedy, life and death, and memorably explains why she always thanks the crew. Check out Kathy's work with the Lympathic network: https://lymphaticnetwork.org/ This episode is brought to you by: Hello Fresh. For $80 off your first month of HelloFresh, go to HelloFresh.com/IMPACT80 and enter IMPACT80. Blinkist. Visit www.blinkist.com/IMPACT to try out the premium service completely free for 7 days! Calm. Right now, IMPACT listeners get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at Calm.com/impact. Forty million people have already downloaded Calm. Find out why at Calm.com/impact. Skillshare. Start learning on Skillshare today with 2 free months at skillshare.com/impacttheory SHOW NOTES: Kathy advocates that actors can create empathy and bring people out of their tribes [3:09] Kathy shares her family’s story of suicide [5:48] Kathy details the ways her mother had such a positive impact on her [11:14] Kathy discusses her own struggles with depression and his father’s similar struggles [13:39] Kathy describes the worst relationship she’s ever been in, and her battle with cancer [16:07] Kathy tells the story of a dead finch that turned into a powerful sign [19:15] Kathy explains how she learned to not always try to fix or control everything [24:13] Kathy talks about letting go and tells a humorous story about coke [26:12] Tom and Kathy discuss faith, God and moments of grace [27:21] Kathy explains how she opened up to a new relationship [31:10] Tom and Kathy talk about how you don’t have to be perfect to be remarkable [35:10] Kathy advocates humility and keeping a beginner’s mindset [38:59] Kathy interrupts her discussion of humility to discuss being mistaken for a stripper [40:48] Kathy tells Richard Jewell’s story [43:15] Kathy discusses working with Clint Eastwood and worrying that she was finished [48:51] We need truth in the media and government [52:19] Kathy shares her response to the question of what impact she wants to have [54:01] QUOTES: “I want to fix things, and you can’t always fix things. And you don’t always have the right to fix things. Sometimes those moments of grace just have to come. You can’t will them; you can’t push them on somebody else.“ [25:10] “You have to just slow down. You have to cut out all the noise. You have to respect yourself.” [33:50] “That’s why I always thank the crew. I’d be dancing around in an empty parking lot in my underwear just spouting lines without everybody. Even marketing people, PR people, everybody makes a movie.” [42:27] FOLLOW KATHY: TWITTER: https://bit.ly/35ogJDz
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Previous Episode
Conversations with Tom | Todd Herman on How to Have Infinite Energy (Yes, It's Possible)
December 12, 2019
•147m
Even Beyonce needed her alter ego, Sasha Fierce, in order to conquer the entertainment industry. And peak performance coach Todd Herman, after working with hundreds of Olympians and champion athletes, has learned that alter egos are an absolute requirement for extraordinary achievement. On this episode of Conversations with Tom, Todd Herman details exactly how powerful the alter ego can be. Along the way he and Tom Bilyeu discuss the need for rituals, share the real stories of how they got where they are, and even explain exactly how to have abundant energy in every area of your life. SHOW NOTES: Todd talks about what he likes about New York City [1:50] Todd explains why people struggle with change [5:01] The common words and phrases we use are actually what trap us [6:51] The brain tries to protect you from looking like an idiot to yourself [9:10] Todd explains how environment changes people [11:39] Todd describes the basic reason people need to create an alter ego [12:47] We all have multiple identities and uniforms, and they are all flexible and malleable [15:50] Todd doesn’t need to know who you are, because he can see your results [21:57] Todd asks “what are you”, not “who are you” [23:10] Todd doesn’t spend any time talking to people about motivation [24:39] Todd and Tom discuss how labels trap people and limit them [27:47] Todd loves archetypes but he doesn’t always use them [32:51] The most common alter egos people adopt are, surprisingly, Grandmas [34:57] Todd describes the need for triggers and rituals [39:00] Todd and Tom discuss the power of birthing emotional states with physical triggers [40:11] Todd and Tom discuss Sasha Fierce and why even Beyonce needs an alter ego [42:58] Any time you try to trick, deceive or impress others, it’s not healthy [46:35] We react to people based on the clothes they wear [48:57] The study that showed that kids did better when dressed up as Batman [51:03] Tom strongly advocates self-signaling and using totems to stay obsessed [55:00] Todd explains why he uses his glasses as a totem and ritual to get into his alter ego [58:17] Tom strongly advocates decisiveness [1:03:13] One of the great powers people have is playfulness [1:06:40] Tom talks about the need for scarring rituals to mark big life changes [1:09:52] Todd discusses how people’s family narratives can hold them back [1:13:15] The moment you decide that you want the ball in the final seconds, all bets are off [1:17:13] Why are horses so empathetic? [1:18:47] Todd explains how people find the alter ego they need for exceptional performance [1:19:45] Everything you need to be successful is already inside you [1:23:00] Pressure does not exist in Todd’s universe [1:24:03] Todd explains how to rebuild after a crushing loss [1:27:37] Tom talks about how important it is to love the struggle, not just the results [1:33:20] You have many identities and many roles that you play in life [1:39:13] It may be more important to be in a stable hierarchy than to be at the top [1:40:35] Todd and Tom strongly advocate mentorship and really learning something [1:43:37] Todd and Tom discuss authenticity and whether there is an authentic self [1:50:00] Todd explains how he is a completely different person for his family [1:53:54] Energy is not a tank that gets depleted in a day [1:57:09] Whatever it takes to get you to take action, do it, even if it’s “fake” [2:01:01] Tom and Todd discuss the real story on the mindset necessary for greatness [2:03:11] Todd shares the story of being sexually abused as a 12 year-old [2:08:12] Tom and Todd discuss the healing effects of MDMA [2:11:33] Be playful and be Batman [2:15:14] BOOKS MENTIONED: “Long Walk to Freedom”, Nelson Mandela https://amzn.to/2Pe7EXc “The Alter Ego Effect”, Todd Herman https://amzn.to/2Rrkyns FOLLOW TODD: WEBSITE: toddherman.me INSTAGRAM:
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Aaron Alexander on The Real Secret to a Healthy Mind and Body | Health Theory
December 19, 2019
•42m
Manual therapist and movement coach Aaron Alexander knows that better health is inseparable from deep healing. As a result, he helps people align their mind, body, environment, posture and movement, achieving incredible results. On this episode of Health Theory with Tom Bilyeu, Aaron Alexander details exactly how to change a multitude of small aspects of your life to become physically and mentally healthier. Along the way he tells his own family story of a father addicted to crack cocaine, advocates dancing and just hanging, and discusses how to deal with the stress that seems to overwhelm modern life. Pre-order Aaron's book here: https://amzn.to/36NB7hG This episode is brought to you by: ITU. Check out Impact Theory University at: http://bit.ly/ImpactTheoryUniversity2 ButcherBox. Use the discount code: "TOM" at butcherbox.com to get 20$ off and FREE BACON SHOW NOTES: Aaron talks about how body language, posture and dance affect the brain [1:08] Tom and Aaron discuss how music causes physical and emotional state change [3:26] Aaron describes the focus of rolfing, and getting the body into alignment [5:17] Aaron and Tom discuss how changing your facial expression changes your emotions [8:20] Aaron has benefited from psychedelics and they have helped him deal with the ego [11:10] Aaron practices compassion by going past surface level conversation and connecting [13:54] Aaron advocates becoming more childlike in certain ways [16:03] Aaron talks about some of the “diseases of affluence” like sitting too much [19:05] Aaron strongly advocates spending some time each day hanging [23:17] Aaron and Tom discuss “micro-opportunities” to live in a more pre-modern way [25:51] Aaron shares the story of watching his father become addicted to crack [28:20] You can’t teach what you know. You can only teach what you are. [31:20] Aaron describes how he uses stillness and meditation [32:01] Aaron and Tom discuss the importance of admitting what’s going wrong [36:24] Aaron shares the one change he would have people make to improve their health [40:21] FOLLOW Aaron: WEBSITE: https://alignpodcast.com INSTAGRAM: https://bit.ly/38PaXx2 TWITTER: https://bit.ly/38MQ5GE
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