E13. Compliments & Criticisms: The Psychology of SHAMING!

Episode 013

Compliments & Criticisms: The Psychology of SHAME!

Audience: Self-Esteem Strugglers, Teens in Search of Self-Esteem & Their Parents, Masters of Self-Directed Disgust, Self-Value Out-Sourcers, & Body Image Blamers.

Today’s TBAL Team (Brave Psychotherapy Adventurers All & Licensed Clinicians): Gamer Girl Heather (Victim of Game-Shaming), Super Bookworm Sarah (Victim of Book-Shaming), Squirrel Girl Debbie (Victim of Furry Critter-Shaming), & Doc Heath (Victim of Over-Education Shaming, Victim of Verbosity-Shaming, Victim of Anti-Shaming-Shaming (AKA Shaming-Debunking).

Go to https://TherapyBites.myshopify.com & grab some A.R.T. LAB MERCH, specially designed to help keep this episode’s message “top of mind” in your life! Don’t forget friends & family members who could use a mental boost too.

NOTICE: TherapyBites A.R.T. LAB is not suggested as a REPLACEMENT or SUBSTITUTE for clinical treatment by skilled, licensed professionals.

Show Summary: In this episode . . .

TherapyBites Podcast is the home of A.R.T. LAB which investigates, explores, & educates all about the neuroscience of Accurate, Realistic Thoughts & Life Affirming Beliefs by challenging worn-out, unsubstantiated, ivory tower psychological theories as well as kool-aid drinking, pseudo-psychological, social media mumbo-jumbo clap-trap.

MAIN EPISODE: Compliments & Criticism: The Psychology of SHAMING!

SHAME on us today in the A.R.T. LAB as we take on “SHAMING” as it is commonly MIS-understood (and CATASTROPHIZED) in our world by hair-brained, talking head psychology-types and Kool-Aid mixing social media amateur Sigmund Freuds. We’ll also be taking on the continued rise of “Keyboard COWARDS” who would use the internet and social media as a playground on which to bully & demean others.

One of the healthiest neuroscience-based training exercises is THINKING ABOUT YOUR THINKING (META-COGNITION). We invite you to join the TBAL Team today to bat around ideas about the experience of “SHAME” and challenge others’ ability to reach INSIDE the “vault of your skull” and fiddle-faddle with YOUR neurons to create shame against YOUR free will.

There’s a recent avalanche of articles on shame and, more concerning, “shamING”. Is it possible for another person to reach through a computer screen and CREATE shame inside another person? What’s the scientific mechanism for that? Do we NOT have power to evaluate the words of others? Common UNDER-thinking colloquialisms include: Fat-Shaming, Skinny-Shaming, Gender-Shaming, Slut-Shaming, Status-Shaming. Each of these assume the POWER to create shame exists OUTSIDE of the person experiencing the shame. We at the A.R.T. LAB disagree. We FIRST engineer our thoughts, THEN our thoughts engineer our lives or, in THIS case, our shame.

5-SIMPLE STEPS TO SUPER SELF-ESTEEM

(1) DATA: The words, phrases, & sentences others text or speak to you is simply DATA.

It could be accurate data (2 + 2 = 4) or it may be inaccurate data (2 + 2 = 37). It’s not up to the SOURCE of the information to decide its accuracy. It’s up to YOU and you ALONE to examine what is texted or said and to decide how well that DATA serves YOU.

(2) INFORMATION SOURCE: Consider the source (as Doc Heath’s Dad would often tell him).

Is the source of the critique a trusted authority figure in your life with a sufficient level of mental health to be considered a VALUABLE source of information about you? Remind yourself - each time you get on social media - that you are simply seeing PIXELS in a PATTERN on a PAGE. This cannot define who you are and, LEAST OF ALL, your WORTH! The best way to deal with KEYBOARD COWARDS? DELETE -DELETE - DELETE. BLOCK -BLOCK - BLOCK.

(3) THOUGHTS & SNOWFLAKES: The brain creates THOUGHTS like blizzards create SNOWFLAKES.

It’s up to YOU to decide which of your OWN thoughts serves you the best. Select out ONLY those which are the most Accurate, Realistic Thoughts (ART’ys). Live the A.R.T. Life!

(4) INTERNAL LOCUS of CONTROL: Remember, self-worth is designed from the INSIDE OUT.

Shame is created from the inside out as well. This begins and ends with YOU. If you decide to CONSUME the perspectives of OTHERS, then do so like “chicken”; eating the meat and spitting out the bones. No one can MAKE you think anything about yourself without your consent.

(5) SHAME THOUGHT PROCESS: “Shame” is based in a definite thought process that YOU control.

It’s NOT about a FEELING. For instance, “worthless” is NOT a ‘feeling’. “Useless” is not a ‘feeling’.

“Another person will not hurt you without YOUR cooperation; you are hurt the moment you BELIEVE yourself to be.”

— Epictetus

SPECIAL SEGMENTS IN TODAY’S SHOW

***Join Doc Heath as he delves into the Deep, Dark Re...