2011: I Married a Narcissist part 1
PRETEND
03/25/25
•55m
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In this episode of PRETEND, we meet “Ashley”—not her real name—who recorded hours of arguments with her husband in an effort to understand what was happening inside her marriage. From the outside, it looked like petty spats over groceries or laundry. But when you hear the audio, you realize this was something darker.
Ashley’s husband was emotionally abusive, manipulative, and battling addiction. It wasn’t until COVID lockdowns that his mask slipped and she could see who he really was. He used suicide threats to control her, drained her financially, and isolated her from support. And yet, as is often the case with narcissists, everyone else thought he was the victim.
This is not one of the most outrageous stories we’ve told on PRETEND—but it’s one of the most common. It’s a story many people quietly live through and struggle to name. This is what emotional abuse sounds like.
🛑 Warning Signs of Narcissistic Abuse:
- Constant criticism or belittling (often about “small” things like chores or tone of voice)
- Love-bombing followed by extreme withdrawal or cruelty
- Gaslighting: making you question your memory, reality, or emotions
- Isolation from friends, family, or support systems
- Walking on eggshells to avoid setting them off
- Financial control or sabotage
- Using guilt, blame, or self-harm threats to manipulate behavior
- Alternating between praise and punishment
- Jealousy of your attention—especially toward children
📌 If you’re in a similar situation, here are resources that can help:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 800-799-7233 or thehotline.org — Free, confidential, 24/7
- Psychology Today Therapist Finder: psychologytoday.com
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services (SAMHSA) Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
- Narcissist Abuse Recovery Support: DomesticShelters.org – Includes emotional abuse filters
- One Mom’s Battle: onemomsbattle.com – Focused on divorcing narcissists and protecting children
- Love is Respect (for younger listeners): loveisrespect.org
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Previous Episode
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March 21, 2025
•34m
It started with a missing breast milk keepsake. But when Cheyna Lee joined an online group of frustrated customers, she uncovered something much bigger—hundreds of victims, stolen mementos, and a scam artist hiding in plain sight. This is the story of Destiny Magoon, a small business owner who promised sentimental jewelry made from ashes, hair, and even breast milk—but left heartbreak in her wake. What followed was an online investigation that played out like a true crime documentary, exposing fraud, deception, and a woman willing to do anything to cover her tracks.
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Next Episode
2012: I Married a Narcissist part 2 Listener Reactions
April 1, 2025
•15m
After publishing the story of a woman trapped in a marriage with a narcissist, I wasn't sure how it would land. It wasn’t flashy. It didn’t end in violence or arrest. But the response was overwhelming. Listeners wrote in to say, “That was me.” Some still carry the trauma years later. Others are just now realizing what they went through was abuse.
In this episode, we hear from listeners who saw their own relationships reflected in Ashley’s story. We also speak with criminal behavior analyst Laura Richards to understand how abuse often hides in plain sight—through gaslighting, coercive control, and emotional manipulation. And we ask: what happens when the narcissist isn’t a partner—but a parent? Or when the survivor is a man?
This bonus episode is about the quiet kind of abuse—the kind people are afraid to talk about but desperately need to hear.
🔊 Featuring: Laura Richards and listeners who bravely shared their experiences
⚠️ Trigger warning: discussions of abuse, addiction, and coercive control
🛑 Warning Signs of Narcissistic Abuse:
- Love-bombing followed by emotional withdrawal or cruelty
- Gaslighting: making you doubt your memory, emotions, or reality
- Blaming you for their self-harm threats or emotional instability
- Constant criticism or belittling over mundane issues
- Financial control or sabotage
- Isolating you from family or friends
- Guilt-tripping, triangulation, or passive-aggressive threats
- Refusing accountability or twisting facts during arguments
📌 If you’re in a similar situation, here are resources that can help:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 800-799-7233 or thehotline.org — 24/7, free, confidential
- Psychology Today Therapist Finder: psychologytoday.com
- SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – for substance abuse and mental health support
- Domestic Shelters: domesticshelters.org – helps identify resources near you
- One Mom’s Battle: onemomsbattle.com – for navigating high-conflict custody and divorce
- Love is Respect: loveisrespect.org – support for young people in abusive relationships
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