Why Nobody Feels Loved Anymore - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
Modern Wisdom
06/25/26
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Sonja Lyubomirsky is a psychologist, professor, and author.
What does it really mean to feel loved? People say "I love you" all the time, but why doesn't it always register? Why can someone love you deeply, yet you still don't feel it? What does real love actually feel like?
Expect to learn if there is a commonality between all of the happiness interventions out there, why feeling loved is important, how self-esteem and self-love are related, why having a sharing mindset is so important, what it actually means to be understood, the things that make you happier you might be overlooking, and much more...
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Timestamps:
(0:00) Why Do We Need to Feel Loved? (2:51) Don’t Spend Your Life Trying to Be Loveable (5:22) What It Really Means to Feel Loved (6:36) The Biggest Ways Push Love Away (9:39) Do Self-Esteem Interventions Exist? (13:43) Is Romantic Love the Most Important Type of Love? (16:20) The Words More Powerful Than ‘I Love You’ (18:10) Why Receiving Love Is a Skill (19:24) The Importance of a Sharing Mindset (24:35) Are Vulnerable People More Likeable? (30:09) Why Validation Changes Everything (32:54) Is Therapy Speak Helping or Hurting? (36:59) We Need to Ask Deeper Questions (40:03) Why Multiplicity Can Be So Hard (44:07) The Strongest Predictors of Relationship Success (48:51) Should Everything Be Reciprocal? (55:24) The Habits That Make You Feel Loved (58:34) The Most Fascinating Study Sonja Has Conducted (01:01:17) Is This the Best Definition For Introvert and Extrovert? (01:05:23) The Biggest Misconception About Happiness (01:08:56) What Should We Prioritise to Be Happy? (01:11:19) Where to Find Sonja
Extra Stuff:
Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books
Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom
Episodes You Might Enjoy:
#577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins
#712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson
#700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman
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Previous Episode
Ezra Klein is a journalist & political commentator.
What’s actually happening in politics? The right says it’s winning. The left says democracy is at risk. Yet the country feels more divided than ever. So what’s really going on, and is it still possible for a leader on either side of the aisle to unite America?
Expect to learn we’re being fracked by the politics of attention, if the left’s version of Joe Rogan could have swayed the political tides their way in 2024, why the Left has zero leaders in contention for the 2028 ticket, the correct way we should regulate AI, how to seperate yourself from political anger, what to pay attention to over the next few years and much more...
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Timestamps:
(0:00) How Ezra Klein Became an Unlikely Thirst Trap (3:40) The Benefits of Keeping Your Private Life Boring (13:44) Are The Democrats' Tweets Getting Out of Hand? (18:20) Could a Liberal Joe Rogan Have Changed the Election? (25:53) Is Ezra in the Middle of a Democrat Civil War? (30:35) The Risk of Criticising Your Own Side (40:41) Have Ezra’s Politics Evolved? (46:02) What Makes the Ideal Democratic Candidate? (49:02) Why Authenticity Wins (53:53) What Does Deregulation Actually Mean? (59:47) How Should We Regulate AI? (01:09:00) The Urgent Problem of AI Safety (01:16:34) How Ezra Would Approach AI Safety (01:25:00) Distinguishing What’s Productive From Unproductive (01:30:47) Are the Left Losing Young Men? (01:47:46) Why We Need to Unify the Sexes (01:50:30) How to Not Let Criticism Get to You (01:56:24) Does Better Information Create Better Politics? (01:59:09) What is Ezra Focusing On Next? (02:08:22) What’s Next For Ezra?
Extra Stuff:
Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books
Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom
Episodes You Might Enjoy:
#577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins
#712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson
#700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman
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Get In Touch:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast
Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact
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Next Episode
Ben Askren is a former Olympic wrestler and former MMA champion.
What is it like to come face-to-face with death and make it back? Ben went from being on top of the world to needing a double lung transplant just to survive. What actually happened to him, what did he endure during his recovery, and how did the experience reshape his perspective on life?
Expect to learn what actually happened to Ben these past 18 months, how low his health went, the biggest lessons Ben has held onto over the last year, what Ben thought about when he was that close to death, how surviving and recovering changed his thoughts on faith and fatherhood, and much more...
Sponsors:
See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://chriswillx.com/deals
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Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom
Get ChatGPT to explore ideas, solve problems, and learn faster at https://chatgpt.com
Timestamps:
(0:00) The Crazy Story Behind Ben’s Double Lung Transplant (5:01) What Happened After Ben Blacked Out? (8:27) How Do You Breathe Without Lungs? (10:38) The Hidden Danger of Necrotising Pneumonia (12:27) The Long Road Back to Health (17:30) Waking Up to a Second Chance at Life (21:35) How to Stay Strong Through Illness (26:40) How Near-Death Changed Ben’s Priorities (33:29) Has Ben’s Definition of Success Changed? (37:26) Why Wrestlers Are Mentally Different (41:44) Talent vs Hard Work: What Brings You Success? (48:24) How to Stop the Pressure Getting to You (57:38) Choose Your Own Legacy (01:04:01) Where to Find Ben
Extra Stuff:
Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books
Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom
Episodes You Might Enjoy:
#577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins
#712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson
#700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman
-
Get In Touch:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast
Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact
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