How Love Turns You Insane - Dr Max Butterfield - #1069
Modern Wisdom
03/09/26
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Dr. Max Butterfield is an experimental psychologist and professor who studies relationships and decision-making.
Why does love make us do crazy things? Rom-coms make relationships look easy, but real love is far more complicated. So what actually makes a relationship work—and why does love make us act irrationally?
Expect to learn what science says about what people should do to recover from a breakup, if the Norwegian skier who confessed to cheating on his girlfriend was doing more harm than good to his relationship, what Dr Max wished more men and women knew about how to signal interest, why we ruminate so much and how to ruminate less, what healthy communication actually looks like and much more...
Timestamps:
(0:00) Did This Declaration of Love Backfire? (7:37) Why Grand Gestures are a Bad Idea in Dating (14:03) The Psychology of Breakups: How to Recover Faster (18:58) Is a Breakup Really Like Losing Someone? (20:31) Why Do We Ruminate So Much? (31:01) Does Rejection Actually Shape Us? (32:32) How to Signal Romantic Interest (37:52) Why Women Signal Beauty Through Clothing (44:30) Is She Actually Out of His League? (47:02) Relationship Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore (50:32) The Fascinating Evolutionary Approach to Relationships (56:36) Green Flags: What to Look for in a Healthy Relationship (01:03:51) The Power of a Psychological Reset (01:11:18) Does Direct Communication Improve Relationships? (01:16:27) The Hidden Role of Indirect Aggression (01:21:36) Why Intrasexual Competition is So Controversial (01:27:12) The Power of Healthy Communication in Relationships (01:38:33) What’s Next For Ben
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Episodes You Might Enjoy:
#577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins
#712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson
#700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman
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Previous Episode
Dr Peter Salerno is a social psychologist, professor, and researcher.
Why are narcissists so manipulative? At some point in your life, you’ve probably encountered a narcissist. They can take control of a situation so subtly that before you realize it, you’re caught under their influence. So how can you spot a narcissist early, and what can you do to protect yourself from their manipulation?
Expect to learn why people repeatedly tend to hurt others deliberately, which parts of the brain are actually involved in empathy and self-control, why the idea that “hurt people hurt people” is so attractive, why narcissists often pull someone close and then suddenly push them away, how to spot when flirting or drama turn into manipulation, if someone can be genuinely in emotional pain and still choose to hurt others and much more...
Timestamps:
(0:00) How Peter Discovered His Niche in Psychology (3:31) Which Personality Types Cause the Most Conflict? (10:05) What Causes Cluster B Personality Disorders? (12:54) Is Antagonistic Behaviour Genetic? (17:42) How Cluster B Traits Evolved Over Time (21:54) The Neuroscience Behind Personality Disorders (31:06) Do Narcissists Devalue Everything? (39:48) Are Personality Disorders a Choice? (43:48) What Are The Other Cluster Disorders? (46:50) Why “Hurt People Hurt People” Is So Compelling (53:30) What Narcissism Really Is (01:02:00) Narcissists vs Psychopaths: Who Is More Dangerous? (01:04:55) Which Personality Disorders Commonly Occur Together? (01:09:21) The Hardest Personality Disorder to Treat (01:12:38) How Real Change Happens in Personality Disorders (01:18:58) Who Get Stuck in Toxic Relationships? (01:24:11) How Sexuality is Utilised in Personality Disorders (01:28:26) Things Cluster B Personalities Rarely Do (01:32:43) How Cluster B Personality Traits Develop (01:38:15) How Likely Are We to Be Histrionic? (01:40:16) The Biggest Sex Differences in Personality Disorders (01:44:53) Where to Find Peter
Sponsors:
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Get 15% off your first order of my favourite Non-Alcoholic Brew at https://athleticbrewing.com/modernwisdom
New pricing since recording: Function is now just $365, plus get $25 off at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom
Extra Stuff:
Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books
Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom
Episodes You Might Enjoy:
#577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins
#712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson
#700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman
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Get In Touch:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast
Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact
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Next Episode
Louis Theroux is a journalist, documentary filmmaker, broadcaster, and author.
What is it really like inside the Manosphere? Online spaces for men have exploded in influence, shaping how millions of young men think about success, relationships, and masculinity. Supporters say it helps men improve their lives. Critics say it’s dangerous and toxic. So what’s the truth, and is the manosphere as harmful as mainstream media says it is?
Expect to learn why Louis is so interested in investigating the Manosphere and what’s driving the growing trend, if it’s possible to speak to issues that men face without being a part of the Manosphere, if Louis agrees to anything that Manosphere has to offer, why looksmaxxing is becoming a growing trend in the Manosphere, if more traditional gender roles are actually desired by women, what the future of the Manosphere and the route young men are going and much more...
Timestamps:
(0:00) Why Louis is Exploring the Manosphere (8:33) The Danger in Blurring Entertainment and Real Life (14:16) Why Men’s Issues Are Suddenly Everywhere (21:03) What the Manosphere is Really Trying To Do (34:40) How Childhood Shapes Manosphere Beliefs (40:36) How Algorithms are Influencing Young Men (51:36) The Pressure of Living on Camera (57:43) Can Men’s Issues Be Discussed Outside the Manosphere? (01:09:00) Is Looksmaxxing the New Red Pill? (01:16:13) Where Does Louis Agree With the Manosphere? (01:22:23) Why Men’s Issues Deserve More Empathy (01:40:07) Where to Find Louis
Sponsors:
See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://chriswillx.com/deals
Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom
Get up to 20% off the leading longevity and cellular health supplement at https://timeline.com/modernwisdom
New pricing since recording: Function is now just $365, plus get $25 off at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom
Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom
Extra Stuff:
Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books
Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom
Episodes You Might Enjoy:
#577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins
#712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson
#700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman
-
Get In Touch:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast
Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact
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