Which Type of Rest Do You Need Saundra Dalton-Smith Ep 209
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
06/04/18
•57m
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As moms, we know we need rest. We usually equate rest with sleep or with a vacation, but this week’s guest shares a broader picture of our need for rest in multiple areas of our lives.
Saundra Dalton-Smith is a medical doctor, wife and mother to two boys. She had everything she’d dreamed of and worked hard to achieve, but wasn’t enjoying it.
I kept pushing and pushing myself till I got to the point where I literally burned out. I wasn’t happy with my job. I couldn’t see how my marriage would survive. I didn’t want my kids anymore. I was just at the end of myself. I didn’t want the life I created.
After reaching this breaking point, she went on a journey of restoration and healing where she learned to connect with God and with his plan for rest. Now she shares her research and methods with her patients and with all of us. If you’ve ever felt tired and at the end of yourself, this episode is for you.
We already have permission to rest, but the mommy guilt that sometimes comes tells us we don’t. That is really a lie. I look at it as the John 10:10. ‘The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy.’ And he’s doing it to a lot of us through our inability to rest, our inability to trust God that when we lay things down that he is able to uphold them.
What we chat about:- When Saundra reached her breaking point from stress and lack of true rest
- We have physical limits to what we can do as moms
- How Saundra researched rest and looked at scripture for clarity on how God rested
- The seven types of rest: physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, social, sensory and creative.
- The difference between a vacation and resting
- Paying attention to a place that feels painful in your body in the moment vs ignoring it
- Finding emotional rest through connection with friends, even through video chat if getting together is impossible
- The importance of authentic, open friendships with women who can relate to your life situation
- Ideas on how to stay engaged with your husband and reignite your marriage
- Putting limits on social media time so that your mind has down time
- Tips for getting mental rest and release ideas that make your mind race
- Sensory rest– what it is and ways to get it
- It is not selfish to prioritize resting. It keeps you from having a toxic reaction to those around you.
- Marco Polo App–way to socially connect
- Sacred Rest by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith**
- Adventures in Odyssey Club–hundreds of episodes
- Rest Quiz Online
**Amazon affiliate link
Previous Episode
In a world where devices, video games and screen-based entertainment dominate our time and space, we can choose to make our family culture different. It isn’t easy and it isn’t always fun, but there are huge benefits for us and our kids when we take time away from devices.
This week’s guest Andy Crouch is the author of “The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place”. He shares about our calling to be image bearers of God and how his family has seen a lot of growth by putting limitations on time with technology and building in Sabbath rest from devices.
Have moments as a family where you talk about what have been your best moments. What’s been the flourishing moments in our family? It’s very unlikely people will say, ‘Oh that time we made it to level 16 in whatever video game.’ Kids and parents will remember moments that had this kind of real authority and real vulnerability.
As we head into summer, I hope this episode encourages you to embrace the power of your kids being bored so they can tap into their God-given creativity, abilities and interests. Just hang in there through the first third of the time! Listen to see what I mean.
What we chat about:- Image bearing as it relates to authority and vulnerability
- Video games and screened-based entertainment simulate authority and vulnerability
- Andy’s family’s Sabbath for screens and devices- one hour each day, one day each week and one week each year
- How to work toward unity on device- and technology-free time with your spouse
- Start small and do what’s stretching when it comes to taking time without devices
- Talk as a family about the best times you’ve experienced together and plan to have more of those moments
- The first third of the time is really hard, but in the second two-thirds you’ll see creativity and really good things for your family
- Changing your physical space to make the main thing we do together different
- Work and rest vs. Toil and leisure
- Not looking at your phone first thing in the morning till you’ve been outside
- Having a rhythm of disengagement with technology that reconnects us with real rest and with who we really are in God’s image.
- “The Tech Wise Family: Putting Technology in its Proper Place” by Andy Crouch **
- “Strong and Weak” by Andy Crouch**
**Amazon affiliate link
Next Episode
The Legacy of a Calm Father Kirk Martin Ep 210
June 11, 2018
•58m
We’ve talked a lot about calm parenting techniques on GCM in the past. It’s something many of us moms have seen work. But this episode is one you may want to listen to and invite your hubby to as well!
Founder of Celebrate Calm, Kirk Martin, shares the powerful story of how he went from an angry, tough dad to a calm, coaching dad and why a dad’s role in parenting is so important.
I believe this to be true most of the time. If you do not change and if you do not forge that connection with your son, most of those boys will grow up and become angry young men... And I would tell the men too if you have a daughter and if she doesn’t know that you like her. And that you accept her as she is even if she is difficult. I guarantee when she gets to her teenage years she’s going to seek a man’s affection in some teenage boy.
What we chat about:- Getting dads onboard with Calm Parenting techniques.
- Working with strong-willed children and how anger and tough punishments don’t work.
- Fear of failure as a parent is a strong motivator for us in discipline.
- Kids need to know that we can control ourselves as parents even when they are out control.
- Discipline means to teach, not to punish.
- It’s important to build trust with our kids so they know we have their best interests at heart.
- The idea of first-time obedience and whether it’s Biblical.
- Strong-willed children may never listen the first time and may do things their own way (but still obey).
- How our struggle to obey God often mirrors our kids’ struggle to obey.
- Leading our kids to contrition instead of demanding an apology.
- Coaching and role playing with our kids to teach them how to respond better in emotional situations.
- Think of calm techniques as a different tactic for problem solving.
- It’s ok to give in from time to time to keep from going crazy (not the same as being “soft”).
- Try doing the opposite of what you are doing now and see what the response is.
- Men’s CD or download: “I Want To Be A Good Dad & Husband!” (2 CDs, 2 hours)
- How to Stop Yelling, Lecturing & Power Struggles Episode 62
- Calmly Parenting the Strong Willed Child Episode 69
- Summer (& Sibling) Survival Guide Episode 77
- How to Stay Calm with School Stress Episode 88
- Q & A with Kirk Martin Episode 104
- 10 Ways to Stop Meltdowns & Arguments Episode 139
**Amazon affiliate link
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