![Don't Mom Alone Podcast - When You Feel Like You're Failing as a Mom :: Mentor Series Wk 3 [Ep 582]](https://audioboom.com/i/39842989.avif)
When You Feel Like You're Failing as a Mom :: Mentor Series Wk 3 [Ep 582]
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
07/20/26
•36m
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Have you ever had one hard parenting moment and immediately thought, "I'm such a bad mom"? I know I have. It's amazing how quickly we can go from, "Today was hard," to believing something is wrong with us instead of recognizing we simply had a difficult moment.
In this week's Coffee with Heather mentor series, we're talking about one of the most important relationships we have—the relationship with ourselves. As moms, we're often so quick to extend grace to our kids, our spouses, and our friends, yet we're incredibly harsh with the woman staring back at us in the mirror. We hold ourselves to impossible standards, compare ourselves to what we see online, and believe the lie that we're supposed to have motherhood figured out.
In this conversation, I want to encourage you to begin recognizing the difference between conviction, condemnation, and shame. We'll talk about why self-compassion isn't self-pity, how to quiet your inner critic, and how to replace the lies we believe with the truth of God's Word. Motherhood was never meant to be lived under the weight of perfection. God isn't asking you to be a perfect mom—He's inviting you to faithfully walk with Him, receive His grace, and extend that same grace to yourself.
If you've been carrying around mom guilt, feeling like you're constantly falling short, or wondering if you're enough, I hope this conversation reminds you that your identity isn't found in one parenting moment. It's found in Christ. There is no perfect formula for raising kids, but there is a faithful God who redeems our mistakes, transforms our hearts, and walks with us through every season of motherhood.
Connect with Kim Fredrickson:
- Facebook: The Self-Compassion Club
- Instagram: Kim Fredrickson (@kimfredrickson)
- Website: Jada Edwards
- Instagram: Jada A Edwards (@jada_edwards)
- Give Yourself a Break: By Kim Fredrickson
- Give Your Kids a Break: By Kim Fredrickson
- Don't Mom Alone: By Heather MacFadyen
- You are Qualified in Christ :: Jada Edwards [Ep 248]
- Quiet Your Inner Critic and Practice Self-Compassion :: Kim Fredrickson
- Remaining You While Raising Them :: Alli Worthington [Ep 420]
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Previous Episode
Welcome back to the Coffee with Heather series! This week, we're talking about something that has completely transformed the way I parent: connection before correction.
For a long time, I believed it was my job to control my boys' behavior. I thought that if I could just get them to listen better, behave better, or make fewer mistakes, then I would be doing my job as a mom. But if I'm honest, that mindset left me feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and disconnected from the very people I wanted to love well.
The more parents, mentors, and experts I interviewed over the years, the more I realized something beautiful: God never called me to control my children. He called me to guide them, disciple them, and build a relationship where they know they are deeply loved and safe.
When connection becomes the foundation, correction becomes so much more effective.
In this episode, I share some of the parenting lessons that have given me freedom, including insights from Jim and Lynne Jackson and the biblical reminder that God's kindness leads us to repentance. That verse has changed the way I think about discipline—not as punishment, but as teaching, guiding, and helping my children grow.
When our children know they are loved, enjoyed, and accepted, trust begins to grow. And trust creates partnership. From that place, correction feels less like control and more like discipleship.
In this episode, we'll talk about:
- The difference between behavior management and heart transformation.
- Why discipline is really about teaching, not punishing.
- How to become a safe place for your children.
- The importance of staying calm and regulating your own emotions.
- Why giving your child—and yourself—a "do-over" can strengthen your relationship.
- Practical ways to create meaningful one-on-one connections, even during busy seasons.
- Website: Home | Connected Families
- Instagram: Connected Families | Parent with Confidence and Grace (@connectedfams)
- Facebook: Connected Families
- Heartfelt Discipline: By Clay Clarkson
- Discipline that Connects by Jim and Lynn Jackson
- Don’t Mom Alone book
- Discipline 101 (LIVE Event–Friday Night) :: Jim and Lynne Jackson [Ep 221]
- Parenting a Spicy Child: How to Stay Calm, Set Boundaries, and Keep the Connection :: Mary Van Geffen [Ep 558]
- Choosing Connection Over Critique :: Rachel Macy Stafford [Ep 280]
Featured Sponsors:
- Hiya health: We've worked out a special deal with Hiya. Receive 50% off your first order on any of their products. To claim this deal you must go to hiyahealth.com/DMA. This deal is not available on their regular website. Get your kids the full-body support they deserve.
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Next Episode
Have you ever felt lonely in a season where you actually had people around you?
I know I have.
After having my fourth child, I found myself feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I had people in my life, but I realized I wasn't truly letting them in. I wasn't being honest about what was hard, where I was struggling, or what I really needed. After experiencing a panic attack, I found myself in counseling and on a journey toward finding deeper, more meaningful connections.
In this week’s Coffee with Heather mentor series, I want to talk about community in motherhood because I know how hard it can be. As moms, we are constantly pouring out—meeting our kids' needs, managing schedules, and caring for everyone around us. Sometimes friendship gets pushed to the side because we simply don't have the energy left.
But the truth is, we were never meant to do motherhood alone.
In this conversation, I share:
- Why making and maintaining friendships can feel so difficult as a mom.
- How we can unintentionally keep people at a distance.
- The insecurity that can come when we see groups of moms who already seem connected.
- How vulnerability helps us move from surface-level relationships into real connection, and how to practically do that.
- Practical ways to start building community, even in a busy season.
I also share an interview with Jada Edwards about the importance of remembering that our kids don't need a perfect mom—they need the mom God created us to be. We can trust Him with the gaps and allow Him to bring people into our lives who can speak truth, love, and encouragement into our children.
God often provides a village in ways we don't expect. Sometimes we just have to be willing to ask Him to show us who those people are and take the first step toward connection.
Connect with Melanie Shankle:
- Website: Big Mama – the big mama blog
- Facebook: Melanie Shankle -The Big Mama Blog
- Website: Jada Edwards
- Instagram: Jada A Edwards (@jada_edwards)
- You are Qualified in Christ :: Jada Edwards [Ep 248]
- Generational Healing: Becoming the Mom You Needed :: Melanie Shankle [Ep 508]
- Navigating Friendship :: Melanie Shankle [Ep 273]
Featured Sponsors:
- Branch Basics: And here’s the good news—Branch Basics is now available everywhere you shop: at Target, Target.com, Amazon, and of course, BranchBasics.com. Tossing the toxins has never been more convenient! For anyone grabbing the Premium Starter Kit, you can still get 15% off at BranchBasics.com with our code [DMA]. The Premium Starter Kit comes with The Concentrate, and refillable bottles for your surface cleaners, including All-Purpose, Bathroom, Streak-Free, Foaming Hand Wash, and Laundry. It also comes with Oxygen Boost for extra stubborn stains on pots and pans, laundry, bathroom tile and more. This kit is a great way to kickstart your human-safe cleaning routine
- Hiya Health: We've worked out a special deal with Hiya. Receive 50% off your first order on any of their products. To claim this deal you must go to hiyahealth.com/DMA. This deal is not available on their regular website. Get your kids the full-body support they deserve.
- Honeylove: Save 20% off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/DMA #honeylovepod
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