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“What Does My Child Need?” :: Amy and Dr. Jeffrey Olrick [Ep 480] Summer of Mentorship Week 4
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
07/29/24
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Do you feel like all the parenting books and formulas do not apply to your child? Is there embarrassment over public behavior that causes conflict? Are you longing for a deep connection with your kids that lasts into adulthood?
Today we revisit my conversation with Amy and Jeffrey Olrick. Jeffrey is a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with children and families and uses his knowledge in the science of healthy human development mixed with faith to help us in our family relationships.
They go through the six needs of every child and share a compass to help you find your way when it gets challenging. Jeffrey compares our walk through life to a long and challenging trek with our kids where we can get off course but can use these tools to get back on track and build deeper relationships with our kids. He came to the Lord through Matthew 11:28-30 which says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”.
We can take this to heart in parenting and in life that God wants us to be in right relationship with our kids and He has strengthened us with the Holy Spirit to do that job well.
Connect with Amy and Jeffrey Olrick:
Featured Sponsors:
Today we revisit my conversation with Amy and Jeffrey Olrick. Jeffrey is a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with children and families and uses his knowledge in the science of healthy human development mixed with faith to help us in our family relationships.
They go through the six needs of every child and share a compass to help you find your way when it gets challenging. Jeffrey compares our walk through life to a long and challenging trek with our kids where we can get off course but can use these tools to get back on track and build deeper relationships with our kids. He came to the Lord through Matthew 11:28-30 which says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”.
We can take this to heart in parenting and in life that God wants us to be in right relationship with our kids and He has strengthened us with the Holy Spirit to do that job well.
Connect with Amy and Jeffrey Olrick:
- Website: Growing Connected
- Facebook: Growing Connected
- Instagram: Growing Connected (@growingconnected)
- What stood out to you in this week’s episode?
- Which of the 6 needs is the most hard for you to do with your kids? Why do you think that is the case?
- Jeffrey talks about sanctification through parenting. Can you reflect on one way you have been sanctified (free from sin or purified) through parenting? Share that win with the group and celebrate how the Lord has changed your life.
- What are some things in parenting you’ve been looking for a one-size-fits-all solution for?
- Can you shift your question from “What should I do?” to “How can I be with this child?” That process may start by sitting with the Lord so you have the grace and patience to be with your child in hard spaces. Ask the Holy Spirit for the ability to know what each kid needs at each moment.
- Growing Connected Podcast - Growing Connected
- The 6 Needs of Every Child: Amy and Jeffrey Olrick
- Which Need Do You Respond to the Most? - Growing Connected (Quiz)
- The “Don’t Miss” List :: Celebrating 10 Years of Don’t Mom Alone [Ep 434]
- Grace Based Discipline for Kids with Unique Needs :: Karis Murray [Ep 237]
- Understand Your Developing Teen :: Dr. Nell Bush [Ep 351]
Featured Sponsors:
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- Duncan and Stone Paper Company: Right now, we have a special offer for listeners: Get 20% off your first order with promo code DMA20. And did we mention that they offer free shipping on any order over $49? You know we’re a sucker for free shipping. Head to www.duncanandstone.com to start your memory making journey today!
- Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.
Previous Episode
I love Kirk’s realistic approach to parenting. He understands what your home dynamics are like. And gives practical tips. After listening to today’s episode you will have at least three different “tricks” to apply.
Most of all, I’m thankful for the new perspective he has given me. Kirk helped me recognize how emotionally invested I was in my boys’ behavior and freed me from the need to regulate their behavior for them.
The last couple days I’ve enjoyed the boys more. I’m also less tense and frustrated when we are out in public. In fact, I may need to go back and listen to this episode more than once, so it sticks!
This episode originally aired in May of 2015
Kirk came back on the show multiple times. Check out additional episodes here.
What we chat about:
Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast
Links Mentioned:
Most of all, I’m thankful for the new perspective he has given me. Kirk helped me recognize how emotionally invested I was in my boys’ behavior and freed me from the need to regulate their behavior for them.
The last couple days I’ve enjoyed the boys more. I’m also less tense and frustrated when we are out in public. In fact, I may need to go back and listen to this episode more than once, so it sticks!
This episode originally aired in May of 2015
Kirk came back on the show multiple times. Check out additional episodes here.
What we chat about:
- Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
- The switch he made from training 1500 kids in his home to training parents to calm themselves.
- The one thing you can do today to de-escalate a tense situation in your home.
- How to calmly handle your child’s meltdown
- How motion changes emotion–helping little ones calm down b/c they don’t know how to “think” their way out.
- What to do in the middle of Target aisle 3 when your child freaks out
- Handling a tantruming child when his siblings are fighting and another needs help with homework and dinner is cooking (Heather’s daily 5 pm reality).
- How sometimes parents want good behavior so badly, they are too invested in it and give children too much control.
- How to be an impartial giver of wisdom.
- Write down your emotional triggers & do the opposite of what you normally do.
Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast
Links Mentioned:
- CDs/DVDs
- 888-506-1871–Toll Free Number for Frustrated Parents
- Discuss Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
- If you struggle to stay calm when your kids are out of control, what are some of your triggers?
- Which of Kirk’s ideas to de-escalate a situation is most realistic for you? Thinking about how motion changes emotion.
- How did you react to Kirk’s idea of being an “impartial giver of wisdom” instead of being so invested in how your kids behave?
- Spend some time working through a part of your day that is most challenging or a situation with a particular child and brainstorm ways you could respond differently. Share with others in the group and get their ideas if you are willing.
- Thrive Market: Save time and money and shop Thrive Market today. Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!
- Better Help: This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Stop comparing and start focusing, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/dma today to get 10% off your first month.
Next Episode
Out of the gate today we are into all the TMI topics like how to wear your gown at the Doctor’s office, mammograms, and what stage of menopause we are in. (Did you know there are five?) Cynthia’s family keeps it real as usual by washing their healthy vitamins full of fruits and veggies down with Diet Dr. Pepper.
Next up we discuss the Olympics, from what our favorite sports are to handball and break dancing, which we are pretty sure are made-up sports. I rehash my prolific synchronized swimming career and share how I impressed (read tortured) my boys on vacation by showing off my skills. Both of us are fresh off of summer family trips where I bribed my boys to play family games, and Cynthia got recognized in a hotel lobby while sternly talking to her family about taking a good picture.
Cynthia is reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamont and gives some ideas on how to slow down and take note of the little things in life so we can remember them later. I share how the pressure to list all the needed family improvements can get overwhelming so I am choosing to list what is going well this season. Come laugh with us and be reminded that no matter how messy summer is making memories and taking time with family is invaluable.
Connect with Cynthia Yanof:
Next up we discuss the Olympics, from what our favorite sports are to handball and break dancing, which we are pretty sure are made-up sports. I rehash my prolific synchronized swimming career and share how I impressed (read tortured) my boys on vacation by showing off my skills. Both of us are fresh off of summer family trips where I bribed my boys to play family games, and Cynthia got recognized in a hotel lobby while sternly talking to her family about taking a good picture.
Cynthia is reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamont and gives some ideas on how to slow down and take note of the little things in life so we can remember them later. I share how the pressure to list all the needed family improvements can get overwhelming so I am choosing to list what is going well this season. Come laugh with us and be reminded that no matter how messy summer is making memories and taking time with family is invaluable.
Connect with Cynthia Yanof:
- Website: https://cynthiayanof.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.yanof
- Instagram: @cynthiayanof
- Podcast: MESSmerized
- Hiya kids vitamins (see link and discount below)
- Ilona Maher (@ilonamaher)
- Crazy Rich Asians | Prime Video
- Bird by Bird: By Anne Lamott
- NYT Games: Word Games and Sudoku
- Cynthia’s apple watch band
- The Bear (TV Series 2022– ) - IMDb
- Satin Heatless Curling Set
- Bruce’s flat iron from when he chemically straightened his hair
- The Goal Isn’t Happy Children :: Cynthia Yanof – Summer of Mentorship – Wk 6 [Ep 419]
- A Mash-Up of Summer Support [Ep 411]
- Breaking Up with Perfect :: Summer of Mentorship Week 4
- Hiya–We've worked out a special deal with Hiya for their best selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hiyahealth.com/DMA . This deal is not available on their regular website
- Skylight Calendar-As a special, limited-time offer for our listeners, get $40 off your purchase of a Skylight Calendar when you go to skylightcal.com/ALONE .
- Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.
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