Setting Healthy Boundaries with Family Dr. John Townsend Ep 250
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
06/03/19
•49m
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As moms, we are like a life support system for our kids. To keep our families healthy, we need to be healthy. A key part of our overall well being is setting healthy boundaries.
But boundaries are hard. They require uncomfortable, direct conversations. We may need to put a limit on really good things or draw a line in the sand with our in-laws or parents.
My guest, Dr. John Townsend literally wrote the book on boundaries and he shares some deep wisdom on how to set healthy boundaries while honoring our family members and others.
You've got to take care of your energy, your heart and your emotions. You've got to take care of yourself and your health. If you don't guard that heart, then the wellsprings of life won't come out from it. Boundaries are basically about how to set healthy, loving limits in our life. So we have something to offer to our children.
Townsend answers your tough questions about set limits with in-laws, making healthy boundaries for the holidays and even models having a tough conversation with a parent about a boundary.
This is an episode packed with great information and Townsend has several books and resources available if you want to go deeper. Let’s make setting healthy boundaries a priority and guard our hearts and our time to bring life to our family!
What we chat about:- “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
- Setting boundaries is guarding our wellspring of life so we can love our kids
- His book, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life
- Is setting boundaries biblical? YES!
- The difference between hurting and harming someone when it comes to setting boundaries
- Honoring vs obeying your parents as an adult
- What it looks like to have a boundary setting conversation
- Conveying love in hard conversations and not getting hijacked with emotions or blame
- Giving three chances when you set new boundaries and how to have consequences when they aren’t respected
- Turning to spiritual family when biological family isn’t what your kids need
- Keeping the lines of communication open with grandparents and communicating boundaries in love
- Looking for mild, moderate and severe reactions to suggestions and boundary setting
- Suggestions for setting healthy boundaries for the holidays
- The idea of people fuel and relational nutrients that help us fuel up
Previous Episode
Summer Strategies Laura and Courtney Ep 249
May 27, 2019
•51m
Whether your kids are school age or not, summer typically brings a big shift to our family routine and to our mindset. Joining me today to talk through strategies to thrive this summer are Laura Hernandez and Courtney Cleveland.
We talk about systems, tips and plans for making the most of the time you have with your kids this summer. Laura even shares an acronym for how to plan with the word ENJOY. That’s right! We can absolutely enjoy the summer and these ladies have some great ideas to get you started.
“It doesn't need to be a family bucket list and it doesn't need to be a hundred goals. It's just a simple focused looking at your summer and saying, what do I want it to feel like? What do I want it to look like for our family? And you will reap the benefits of it.”
If you’re like me and want to figure out a way to involve your kids in household jobs without the whining and complaining or make a plan for using screen time effectively, we cover it all in this chat. We also talk about summer road tips and ways to stop entitlement behavior when it rears its ugly head.
There is so much life in slowing down and spending time with our kids in the summer. Whether you are on summer number 2 or summer number 14 (like me) with your oldest, I pray that you embrace the time you have and ENJOY your summer!
Next Episode
Gospel-Focused Conversations Joel Fitzpatrick Ep 251
June 10, 2019
•55m
Just in time for Father’s Day we have a great conversation with Joel Fitzpatrick, a pastor and author, who encourages dads (and moms) to have gospel-focused conversations with their sons.
“There’s power in having conversations with your kids that opens up your relationship. It’s a freedom that gives your kids a safe place to talk to someone. But then it also gives you the ability to speak God's truth into their lives.”
We talk about the barriers that keep us from going deep with our kids and how to fight back against the fear and complacency that can become commonplace. Joel also shares how Jesus is the ultimate picture of biblical masculinity and how to be an emotionally safe parent for your son or daughter.
“We need to be very careful with our emotions when our kids come and they confess their sins to us. When your son comes to you and he's been angry, you need to be careful not to respond in anger, but to respond with love and with kindness and with using your strength to provide a place of safety.”
This is an episode that would be perfect to share with your spouse and the dads in your life. Joel shares a lot of truth for both moms and dads about how we can stay actively engaged with our kids and keep the gospel message at the forefront.
For more on this topic, Joel has a new book out called Between Us Guys. Also, my recent podcast with Vicki Courtney [Ep 239] has some more great information on having deep conversations.
As Joel shares, it comes down to setting aside intentional time to go deep with our kids. What step can you make this summer to have a gospel-centered conversation with your son or daughter?
What we chat about:
- Joel’s background as a construction worker and as a minister
- What are gospel conversations and how do we have them with our kids
- How to fight against fear and complacency to continually engage with our kids
- Biblical masculinity vs worldly masculinity
- Working with a son who is displaying aggression and violence
- Keeping our emotions in check when we’re having tough discipline conversations
- Look at your kids’ lives as a timeline and not a snapshot
- Learning to process emotions in a healthy way with our kids
- Being aware of your sons’ emotions and actively engaged with how he is processing them
- Teaching sons how to think about and interact with women in light of the gospel
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