![Don't Mom Alone Podcast - Redeeming Shame through Community :: Dr. Curt Thompson [Ep 308]](https://audioboom.com/i/39811274.avif)
Redeeming Shame through Community :: Dr. Curt Thompson [Ep 308]
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
01/04/21
•43m
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Our kids begin to feel and respond to shame as early as 15 to 18 months of age. Those early moments can begin a lifelong struggle with feeling unworthy, inadequate and unlovable. Shame also disintegrates us (separating our thinking brain from our feeling brain) and isolates us from others.
My guest is Dr. Curt Thompson, a psychiatrist and expert on the effects of shame and how to find freedom from the lifelong negative messages that come after us and our family.
“One of the things that we notice about shame is that because we are immobilized and we are hiding, shame does not actually ever allow us to move toward God. This is why we have to have someone come and find us. This is why when our children are experiencing shame, we have to go and find them. This is why it's important for us as parents to have others who are coming to find us.”
YES! Moms don’t let moms sit in shame. We can choose to seek out others when they are stuck in the shame cycle. Who are your 2 or 3 moms that will help you tell your story more truly?
Dr. Thompson walks us through some practical ways to build in memories and physical reminders to work against shame in the future for both ourselves and others. And throughout our conversation he points back to how God doesn’t leave us to deal with shame alone.
“The beautiful thing is Jesus isn’t worried about our kids. He's not worried about your mothering. He's delighted. He knows how hard this work is and he knows that we will do it imperfectly. Even when we have our worst moments in which we foist to shame upon our kids or when our kids experience shame against everything that we're doing to try to combat it, God is saying: ‘I'm not worried. I never run out of options.’”
Connect with Dr. Thompson:- Website: https://curtthompsonmd.com
- Facebook: https://curtthompsonmd.com/
- Instagram: @curt_thompson_md
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Previous Episode
Worth Repeating // Kirk Martin (Calm Parenting)
December 28, 2020
•24m
I love Kirk’s realistic approach to parenting. He understands what your home dynamics are like. And gives practical tips. After listening to today’s episode you will have at least three different “tricks” to apply.
Most of all, I’m thankful for the new perspective he has given me. Kirk helped me recognize how emotionally invested I was in my boys’ behavior and freed me from the need to regulate their behavior for them.
The last couple days I’ve enjoyed the boys more. I’m also less tense and frustrated when we are out in public. In fact, I may need to go back and listen to this episode more than once, so it sticks!
This episode originally aired in May of 2015
Kirk came back on the show multiple times. Check out additional episodes here.
What we chat about:- Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
- The switch he made from training 1500 kids in his home to training parents to calm themselves.
- The one thing you can do today to de-escalate a tense situation in your home.
- How to calmly handle your child’s meltdown
I can only control one person in life, and that’s me.
- How motion changes emotion–helping little ones calm down b/c they don’t know how to “think” their way out.
- What to do in the middle of Target aisle 3 when your child freaks out
- Handling a tantruming child when his siblings are fighting and another needs help with homework and dinner is cooking (Heather’s daily 5 pm reality).
If you don’t care enough about yourself, to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually. . .why would anyone else care?
- How sometimes parents want good behavior so badly, they are too invested in it and give children too much control.
- How to be an impartial giver of wisdom.
- Write down your emotional triggers & do the opposite of what you normally do.
Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast
Links Mentioned:- CDs/DVDs
- 888-506-1871–Toll Free Number for Frustrated Parents
Become a DMA Insider! Join me and Bruce in 2021 to discuss StrengthsFinder! How it impacts your marriage, parenting and career. You're invited!
Next Episode
Safe Conversations :: Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt [Ep 309]
January 11, 2021
•46m
Harville Hendrix, PhD and his wife Helen Hunt, PhD have been helping couples for years as therapists, authors and speakers. They are on a mission to share the concepts of safe conversations with the world. They join me to share how their method can help us have more effective in-depth conversations with our spouse and children.
This works every time. It works with parents, with children and couples. It is something that we now know scientifically that if you mirror another person back accurately and with warmth and no judgment, something will happen inside of them. Something marvelous.
They model a safe conversation for us and offer a lot of encouragement and hope for couples who are struggling and how “Conflict is future growth waiting to happen.”
Harville and Helen have an amazing offer for DMA listeners. Use code DMA on their site at safeconversations.com to get 50% off your choice of SC Essentials or the Ultimate Couples Bundle, both courses will receive free tickets to a live workshop of your choice, a $196 value.
Connect with Harville & Helen:- Website: https://harvilleandhelen.com
- Facebook: facebook.com/harvilleandhelen
- Instagram: @harvilleandhelen
Safe Conversations courses: https://safeconversations.com
Featured Sponsors:- BetterHelp-- visit betterhelp.com/DMA to get 10% off your first month of professional therapy.
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