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Parenting a Spicy Child: How to Stay Calm, Set Boundaries, and Keep the Connection :: Mary Van Geffen [Ep 558]
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
02/02/26
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Parenting a spicy child can feel overwhelming, isolating, and exhausting, especially when traditional parenting advice just doesn’t work. In this episode, Mary Van Geffen joins us to talk about what it really means to parent a strong-willed, spirited, intense child without losing yourself or crushing their spirit.
So often, as moms, we unknowingly tie our identity and worth to how our children behave. When our kids are calm, compliant, or successful, we feel like we are doing a good job. When they are loud, explosive, or struggling, we internalize it as failure. Parenting a spicy child brings this tension to the surface and forces us to ask deeper questions about where our identity really comes from. This conversation invites moms to loosen their grip on performance-based parenting and remember that our value is not measured by our child’s behavior, but by who we are and whose we are.
Here is some of what we cover:
- How to stay connected to your child so you can guide them long-term
- A practical calm down recipe for flare-ups and explosive moments
- How to set boundaries without crushing your child’s spirit
- Why you are not responsible for your child’s happiness
- How to support the mild child in a family with a spicy sibling
Connect with Mary Van Geffen:
- Instagram: 🌶️Parenting Education Classes (@maryvangeffen)
- Facebook: Mary Van Geffen
- Website: Mary Van Geffen
Links Mentioned:
- Parenting a Spicy One: By Mary Van Geffen
- The Cost of Control: By Sharon Hodde Miller
- Start Here- Quiz — Mary Van Geffen
Related Episodes:
- Parenting as a Highly Sensitive Person :: Mary Van Geffen [Ep 438]
- Body Awareness in Parenting :: Mary Van Geffen [Ep 333]
- How to Stay Calm with Strong Willed Kids? :: Kirk Martin [Ep 479]
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Previous Episode
*Republishing our most downloaded episodes, one a month this year*
Whether you’ve been married for a few years or are approaching a milestone anniversary, a healthy marriage takes intentional work. Marriage isn’t built in the big, dramatic moments, but in thousands of small habits and daily interactions that over time lead to either a God-honoring, joy-filled relationship—or one marked by strain and self-focus.
Author and speaker Paul David Tripp joins me to talk about how those everyday habits shape our marriages and how to identify the ones that need to be uprooted. Drawing from nearly 50 years of marriage, Paul helps us see our relationships through the lens of the gospel.
“A biblical view of marriage is a sinner married to a sinner in a fallen world—but with a faithful God. That means we can’t coast. There are things in each of us that threaten our marriage, and we need God’s grace every day.”
My hope is that this conversation encourages you to re-engage your marriage with renewed faith and confidence in what God can do.
What we talk about:
- How marriages are shaped by thousands of small moments
- Why daily habits matter more than big moments
- Identifying healthy and harmful marriage habits
- How sin turns us inward—and why marriage is a covenant of community
- Confession, forgiveness, and navigating conflict
- Unity vs. uniformity in marriage
- The role of the fruit of the Spirit in a thriving marriage
- Why isolation harms marriage and community helps heal it
- Instagram: Paul David Tripp (@paultrippquotes)
- Facebook: Paul David Tripp
- Website: PaulTripp.com | Pastor. Author. Conference Speaker.
Links Mentioned:
- Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make by Paul David Tripp
Related Episodes:
- Hope for the Hopeless Marriage :: Kathy Bush [Ep 453]
- Building Strong Marriages :: Kimberly Beam Holmes [Ep 374]
- Rebuilding from an Abusive Marriage :: Jeni B [Ep 246]
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Next Episode
In episode one of my School Choice Series, Kris Habashy shares her family’s journey from homeschooling to Christian private education. From navigating dyslexia to the challenges of transitioning middle schoolers, Kris offers a heartfelt, honest look at the joys, struggles, and unexpected growth that come with trusting God in your educational choices.
My hope with this series is to share a variety of school choice stories so you can hear different experiences and perspectives. As you listen, I encourage you to pray and seek God’s guidance, asking Him to bring to mind exactly what you need to know for your family’s journey. Trust Him to walk hand in hand with you, year by year, as you make decisions and navigate each step of your children’s education. Here is some of what we cover:
- Why Kris initially chose to homeschool and how her personality and family dynamics played a role.
- The challenges of transitioning kids from homeschooling to private school — especially in middle school.
- The importance of nurturing your own growth as a mom while guiding your kids.
- Families navigating dyslexia, learning differences, or anxiety around school transitions.
- Instagram: (I don’t see any SM for her, do you mind asking?)
- Facebook:
- Website: Stress management coaching for life’s major moments
- Expect the Hard, Experience the Good :: Kris Habashy (part 1) Ep 34
- Expect the Hard, Experience the Good (Part Two) :: Kris Habashy {Ep 35}
- Exchange False Beliefs with True Identity :: Jamie Winship [Ep 433]
Featured Sponsors:
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- Honeylove: Treat yourself to the most advanced bras and shapewear on the market. Use our exclusive link to save 20% off Honeylove at honeylove.com/DMA. Experience the new standard in comfort and support with Honeylove.
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