![Don't Mom Alone Podcast - Grace Based Discipline :: Karis Kimmel Murray [Ep 150]](https://storage.googleapis.com/goodpods-images-bucket/episode_images/33fdbcf390d908d6f5e877e0c5e9fdb3fd25fedb1ded5c452b2bae4c32261d2f.avif)
Grace Based Discipline :: Karis Kimmel Murray [Ep 150]
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
01/27/17
•66m
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I know I should parent with grace (a.k.a. “unmerited favor”). But I struggle with how to combine grace & discipline.
When a little guy smacks his brother upside the head, I don’t want to ignore it or explode over it. But I could use some help with alternative responses to be “my best when my kids are at their worst”.
This week’s guest, Karis Kimmel Murray, grew up in the original grace-based home. Her father, Dr. Tim Kimmel, literally wrote the book on grace-based parenting.** As a mom to two girls, Karis knows the challenges of showing both unmerited favor and appropriate boundaries. Particularly since one of her daughters has been diagnosed with ADHD. (I adore reading parenting books by moms who get it!).
In this episode Karis and I talk through some practical ways to approach misbehavior, like her “Basket Method” and “The 10 Year Rule”.
“Those behaviors come from your child but they don’t define your child. It’s not who they are it’s what they are doing right now.”
We also talk about discovering how each family member is wired, using their Kid’s Flag system. And being clear about the rules and expectations in your home. Not making household preferences on par with Biblical/moral law. Her analogy of being a calm “first responder” will stick with me.
Fortunately, Karis has written all these tips and concepts down in a very relatable and hilarious guide called, “Grace-Based Discipline”.
What we chat about:- The 10-year rule
- The theology of parenting
- Legalism vs. License vs. Grace
- Karis’ fun “mathematician” analogy
- Handling discipline crises like first responders
- The Basket Strategy
- What does atonement have to do with discipline?
- What country flag does each family member fly?
- Clarifying family rules
- Differentiating household rules from moral/Biblical rules
- Karis’ daughter’s diagnosis of ADHD and how it impacted discipline
- The level of offense and the “sushi menu” of consequences
- Family Matters Ministry
- Grace-Based Discipline (Kindle version)**
- Grace-Based Discipline (hardback)
- Grace-Based Parenting** by Dr. Tim Kimmel
- Kids Flag Page
- Karis’ Facebook page and Instagram
**Amazon Affiliate Link
Previous Episode
Loving Your Different Child :: Sally and Nathan Clarkson [Ep 149]
January 23, 2017
•55m
“God didn’t give me a child so I could tell Him exactly my expectations of how that child should be. You have to say ‘God show me how to love the child you gave me and how to release him within his limitations and personalities into their world as a healthy human being.'”
-Sally Clarkson.
You’ve heard Sally come on the podcast and share how to own your life (Ep 54) and how to create a life-giving home (Ep 107). Today she’s back on the show with her adult son, Nathan Clarkson. This time we’re talking about learning to love our kids’ outside-the-box differences. Trusting mom intuition and believing God uniquely designed each of our kids for a purpose.
Sally and Nathan share stories from his childhood. And offer helpful tips for casting vision over your children. I found Sally’s thoughts on holding ideals but letting go of expectations very helpful.
“Give up expectations. But lead family to ideals. Don’t give up on ideals. They are shaping the core of your children’s values.”
Thankfully Sally and Nathan have written a much-needed resource on this topic, “Different: The Story of an Outside-the-Box Kid and the Mom Who Loved Him.” **
What we chat about:- When you start to notice your child is different (Sally)
- When the child begins to notice he/she may be different (Nathan)
- When you want to sympathize & parent inner needs but told to discipline external behavior.
- Creating a space allowing your child to be themselves and belong.
- How Jesus treated people differently with the same love.
- How to cast vision over your children.
- How to turn differences into superpowers.
- Creating rhythms in your home.
- Holding ideals while letting go of expectations.
- How differences impact family dynamics.
- Orchestrating breaks for moms of children with differences.
- Things that helped Nathan as a teenager who knew he was different.
- “Different: The Story of an Outside-the-Box Kid and the Mom Who Loved Him.” **
- The Lifegiving Home **
- “Did you not know that it is the kindness and mercy of God that leads to repentance.” Romans 2:4
**Amazon Affiliate Link
Next Episode
Leading Our Kids to Know Nearness of God's Love :: Sheila Walsh [Ep151]
February 4, 2017
•41m
Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.
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