What is Pathological Demand Avoidance and How Do I Parent This Child?
Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care
02/04/26
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Are you familiar with pathological demand avoidance? Do you need helpful strategies to raise a child with the challenging behaviors that characterize PDA? Listen in to this conversation with Dr. Cynthia Martin, a clinical psychologist, the former Senior Director of the Autism Center at the Child Mind Institute, and founder of CM Psychology in Manhattan, NY.
In this episode, we discuss:
- What is Pathological Demand Avoidance?
- What makes PDA different from typical defiance or resistance?
- Is PDA considered an official diagnosis, or is it more of a way to describe a cluster of behaviors that we’re seeing in some kids?
- What do we know about the underlying causes?
- How does PDA relate to other conditions like autism or ADHD? What are the overlaps with trauma, prenatal substance exposure??
- What are the types of behaviors parents or caregivers might see?
- How can a caregiver tell the difference between a child who can’t comply and one who won’t comply?
- Where do parents start when considering if their child has a PDA profile?
- What observations or examples should parents share to help a clinician understand their child’s challenges?
- What kinds of strategies are effective for parenting a child with PDA traits?
- How can parents reframe their approach so that daily demands — like getting dressed, brushing teeth, or doing homework — don’t turn into constant battles?
- What types of therapies or interventions tend to be most helpful?
- What do you say to caregivers who are feeling worn down and ineffective? Where do they start?
- How can a parent or caregiver set their child up for success even if they do have this PDA profile?
- What words of hope or encouragement would you offer to parents and caregivers just starting to investigate?
Resources:
- Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in Kids - Child Mind Institute
- Demand Avoidance: Why Kids Refuse to Follow Directions - Psychology Today
- Symptom Tests for Children: Is Your Child Showing Signs of Pathological Demand Avoidance? - ADDitude: ADHD Science & Strategies
- Unstuck & On Target - Evidence-Based Curricula and Resources for Professionals and Families to Support Executive Functions.
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Previous Episode
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Question: How to talk to your child about their conception story when embryo donation/embryo adoption is involved in forming your family?
Resources:
- Embryo Adoption (Resource Page)
- Suggested Books for Children Conceived Through Embryo Donation
- Disclosing Donor Conception to Our Kids (podcast)
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Next Episode
Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Question: I recently listened to a podcast featuring an adoptee, a birth mother, and an adoptive parent, which was great. The adoptee talked about when it hit her that she was adopted and feeling like her birth mother threw her away. My sons are adopted through the foster care system. One is technically still a foster child. My oldest was removed from his birth mother immediately after being born and placed with us. My second son spent about a year with his parents in a very neglectful situation, and drugs were a factor in both situations. I'm wondering how to respectfully have that conversation with my sons when the time comes. Note, please, that we are a two-dad household, so there's no hiding the adoption from them.
Resources:
- Talking about Adoption at Different Ages
- How to Make and Use an Adoption Lifebook
- Talking with Young Children About Adoption and Birth Parents
- Books for Kids Adopted from Foster Care
- 9 Things Adoptive Parents Must Do Before Age 13
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
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