Transitioning from Foster Care to Adoption

Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

05/17/23

•

55m

About

Comments

Transcript

Featured In

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are you thinking about adopting from foster care or adopting a child you are already fostering? Are you wondering how to help the child transition to adoption? Our guests are Hope Middlebrook, a foster parent recruiter for Arrow Child and Family Services, and Jennifer O’Brien, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Regional Director for Arrow’s Foster Care Programs.
In this episode, we cover:

Two different scenarios:
- You are the foster parents of the child you are going to adopt.
- You are adopting a child who is living with another foster family.
At what age do kids understand the concept of adoption and what it means in their life?
If you are adopting a child you are fostering.
- How is adoption different from fostering?
- What are some typical emotions (positive and negative) a child might feel? Grief is to be expected.
- How far in advance should the child be informed?
- What are some typical behaviors you might see?
- What are some typical emotions and behaviors you might see from other children already living in your home?
If you are adopting a child living with another resource family or group home.
- What are some typical emotions (positive and negative) a child might feel? Grief is to be expected.
- How far in advance should the child be informed?
- How long should the process take?
- What can the adults do to make the process less stressful for the child?
- What are some typical behaviors you might see from a child that is moving to yet another home and another parent?
- What are some typical emotions and behaviors you might see from other children already living in your home?
What are the pros and cons of changing the child’s name? First name? Last name?
What are some tips for parents to help their child transition from foster child to adopted child? Some of these will apply to a child you are fostering and some to a child whom you are not fostering.
- Get all the information on the child available from his file, caseworker, and previous foster parents.
- Decide what type of relationship you can have with your child’s birth family. Come up with ways to help your child maintain safe connections to their biological roots.
- Work with the former foster family and the child or youth to determine what type of relationship can continue with the foster family after the child moves to your home.
- Go slow. Ideally, visit the child first in their foster home, then take the child out for the day, then have the child spend the night with the adoptive family, then the weekend before they finally move in.
- Give the child/youth as much voice in the process as possible.
- Anticipate problems and come up in advance with ways to work through them and outside resources to use.
- Create a Lifebook for your child and use this book to help explain some of the differences between foster care and adoption. Get pictures from the foster family and the caseworker.
- Prepare children already in the home for an adjustment period and how kids who have experienced trauma might behave.
- Think about how you will maintain a tie to their cultural, racial, or ethnic roots.
- Identify support for yourself. You will, at some point, likely feel discouraged, frustrated, and maybe even regretful. Where will you turn for support?
- Rite of passage at finalization.
What to do if the tween or teen does not want to be adopted?
- How to explore the youth’s reasons?
- Allow space to change their mind.
- What other options are available outside of adoption?

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foste

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Previous Episode

Parenting the Challenging Child While Maintaining Attachment

May 10, 2023

•

58m

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Is your child more intense and more challenging than other kids? Do you worry about the future for this child and your ability to help them learn to behave? You will love this interview with Tina Feigal, M.S., Ed., the Director of Family Engagement at Anu Family Services and founder of the Center for the Challenging Child, where she works with families throughout the US. She is the author of the book Present Moment Parenting: The Guide to a Peaceful Life with Your Intense Child.In this episode, we cover:

What makes some kids more challenging?
What is the impact of trauma on children’s behavior?
We often parent the way we were parented. How can we overcome this?
What do we mean by “attachment,” and why is it important for children and parents?
“Parent the child in front of you in the present moment"- not the one that did ____ yesterday or the one that you fear will do or be ____ in the future.”
Ten Tenets of Parenting
How can parents work with children to improve these behaviors with different aged children while maintaining attachment?
- Frequent and intense tantrums
- Inflexible
- Can’t accept the word “no”
- Lying
- Stealing

Watch Tina’s TEDx Talk: How to Stop Kids’ Meltdowns and Gain Their Cooperation.

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Next Episode

A Conversation with Dr. Bruce Perry about Trauma

May 24, 2023

•

53m

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Join us as Dr. Bruce Perry answers your questions about how trauma impacts adoptive, foster, and kinship kids and families. Dr. Bruce Perry, is a child psychiatrist and neuroscientist, the principal of the Neurosequential Network, Senior Fellow of The ChildTrauma Academy, and adjunct Professor at Northwestern University School of Medicine in Chicago. He is the author the numerous books including co-author along with Oprah Winfrey of What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing, and co-author of The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog.

In this episode, we cover:

The shift in perspective from what’s wrong with you to what happened to you--the ability to understand seemingly senseless behavior by looking at what’s behind it.
What do you include as “trauma”? How severe does it have to be to impact us later in life?
We hear foster, adoptive, and kinship parents say, “she was only neglected.” Is neglect less harmful than abuse?
When siblings are separated in foster care and parents are taken completely away from seeing the children for a year at a time does this lack of contact count as trauma and how does this type of no-touch abuse effect the child's brain?
How common is trauma? ACE study.
Does trauma at a young age have longer lasting impacts?
We have a child who is chronologically 3yrs, who had a non-accidental TBI at 3 months of age. He is a sweet boy but prone to rages and is very loud. Could this be from the trauma or is it his age and frustration?
How can parents help their child manage trauma if they don’t know what the trauma was?
The times of healing are often very short but very powerful. And that the more times our kids experience healing, even in short bursts, the more their brain "re-develops" in healthier ways.
Is there is an association between trauma and sensory processing and if so, do we know why?
How do you become “unstuck” on being a victim? My daughter is 18 and is struggling to become an adult, but constantly feels and acts as though she is still a victim from her past.
Can you discuss how trauma is related to the sabotage of relationships, family events, life events, and opportunities?
Prenatal trauma—
- in utero exposure to alcohol or drugs
- maternal stress
Can generational trauma be passed down genetically through the various forms of DNA?
Resilience and Healing: My question is coming from the perspective as an adoptive and foster mom of some kids who have some pretty big behaviors. Can we really grow these kids and help them live happy, well-adjusted lives? Not problem free, but a life where after many years of love, they will come to find peace within themselves?
I have two children who are currently in foster care because their father was abusive and I stayed with him and allowed my children to witness the abuse. Is there any way to reverse the trauma?