Should We Move to Another Country and Leave Our Extended Family? - Weekend Wisdom
Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care
02/08/25
•6m
About
Comments
Transcript
Featured In
Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Question: My husband and I have two adopted twin boys who are 8 months old, and we've had them since birth. We've been on the fence for years about a big move outside of the country, but we're currently leaning towards leaving. My husband and, by extension, our kids have dual nationality with the country we'd go to. Thankfully, I'm also allowed to tag along.
We currently live near a large family and support network from both sides of the family and would be mostly on our own except for a few distant relatives after the move. We are also close and in frequent contact with our sons' birth family, but they don't live near us so that relationship has always been planned to be a mostly long-distance relationship.
We would plan on setting aside funds just for visiting our family and our birth family every one or two years, but ultimately all our children's family relationships will become long-distance. We worry about the move exacerbating feelings of abandonment or isolation from all sides of their family as they'd not only be raised in another culture but another language and continent. We all come from similar cultural backgrounds, so we aren't too worried about being able to keep them in touch with their birth culture. But we want to be sensitive to their particular needs as to how this could affect them as adoptees.
Is there any research on how adoptees are affected by being adopted into larger vs smaller families? Or adoptees who move abroad or are adopted into immigrant families? Or is there some advice to be gleaned from families adopting internationally that would apply to our situation?
Our children are our highest priority, and we want to set them up for success whether or not we move.
Resources:
- Open Adoption (Resource)
- Self-Care for Parents & Caregivers (Resource)
- Creating a Family Online Support Group (Facebook)
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Previous Episode
Adopting Older Children
February 5, 2025
•53m
Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Are you considering adopting a child over the age of 5? Join our discussion with Dr. Stephanie Bosco-Ruggiero. She has a PhD in Social Work from Fordham University and is co-author of the book Adopting Older Children: A Practical Guide to Adopting and Parenting Children Over Age Four.
In this episode, we talk about:
- The greatest need in both foster care adoption and international adoption is to adopt kids 5 and older.
- Adolescents have a bad reputation in general in our society and those in foster care or international child welfare institutions have an even worse reputation.
- These kids and youth may have challenging behaviors that will be hard to parent. (They also may not have challenging behaviors.)
- Why have they developed these behaviors? (grief and loss, trauma, mental health)
- What are some typical behaviors that are more difficult for parents?
- Tips for creating trust and attachment with older children.
- How to prevent these behaviors from influencing other kids in the family?
- Special issues specific to older kids adopted internationally.
- Lack of ability to communicate.
- Cultural differences.
- Safety concerns, especially if there are younger children in the family.
- Sexually acting out.
- Physical abuse.
- Sibling relationships when adopting an older child.
- Contact with bio family members and former foster parents
- Trying to establish rules with teens/tweens who have had too much freedom.
- Helping kids academically.
- Neuropsychological evaluations, IEPs,
- Support for adoptive families
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Next Episode
Legal Process of Domestic Adoption: What You Need to Know Before You Adopt
February 12, 2025
•54m
Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Are you considering adopting a baby? To understand what is involved legally, listen to this podcast with James Fletcher Thompson, a South Carolina attorney with extensive experience in adoption.
In this episode, we discuss:
- What are some of the differences in domestic infant adoption?
- Agency and independent (direct placement) adoptions.
- Relative adoptions. (grandparents, aunt/uncles, step-parent).
- Infants or young children adopted from foster care.
- In-state and interstate adoptions.
- Adoptions governed by the federal Indian Child Welfare Act.
- Adoption is governed by state law
- Do the adoptive parents have to comply with the laws of the state where the expectant parent resides, where the baby is born, or where they reside?
- How do federal laws affect adoption?
- How does the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children affect adoption?
- What are some of the reasons parents make an adoption plan for their child?
- Some of the legal issues in adoption from the birth parents' perspective.
- Voluntary vs involuntary relinquishment or termination of parental rights
- When can an expectant mother voluntarily relinquish her parental rights?
- When can an expectant father voluntarily relinquish his parental rights?
- Do the expectant parents have to have their own legal representations?
- What if the expectant parent is a minor?
- How long after they sign the papers do the birth parents have to change their mind?
- Do they have to have a reason to change their mind?
- What happens if the expectant mom cannot or will not identify the baby's father?
- Is counseling important?
- Some of the legal issues in adoption from the adoptive parents' perspective.
- The home study/background check requirement.
- Can work with an adoption agency or an adoption attorney.
- What is the process if the agency/attorney finds the expectant parent who is considering placing her baby for adoption?
- What is the process if the prospective adoptive parent finds the expectant parent?
- Can adoptive parents “advertise” to find expectant mothers who are considering placing their baby for adoption?
- What is a legal risk adoption?
- What rights do the adoptive parents have before the expectant parents relinquish their rights?
- What are some factors that affect the cost of adoption?
- In-state vs. interstate
- Expectant mother support
- Expectant father identification and cooperation.
- Indian Child Welfare Act
- Biological father in active military service
- Pre-Birth/Pre-Placement Process
- May be able to meet in person to get to know one another.
- How much information is exchanged about both the expectant parents and adoptive parents? Medical history, finances, etc.
- How can adoptive parents know if they are being given all the information-full disclosure?
- How can expectant parents know if they are being given all the information?
- What is meant by "Open Adoption"?
- Is open adoption legally enforceable?
- Post-Birth Process
- When is the adoption usually finalized?
- Who makes medical decisions for the newborn before finalization?
- Do both birth parents and adoptive parents appear in court for the adoption finalization?
- How is changing the birth certificate handled?
- How can adoptive parents get a copy of the original birth certificate for their child?
- How do adoptive parents get a social security number for their adopted child?
- Do adoptive parents need to have any specific legal paperwork to prove that they can make medical decisions for the child?
- What is the role of Medicaid?
- Can the child be placed on the adopting parent’s
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
If you like this episode you’ll love
Promoted