My Child Tells Others We Aren't Meeting Her Basic Needs - Weekend Wisdom
Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care
03/08/25
•7m
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Question: I have a daughter who has dealt with trauma from consistent experiences of neglect and abandonment. While our home is loving and supportive, she continues to exhibit a victim mentality and has a hard time taking responsibility for her actions. She's a sweet girl, but she makes comments to others that insinuate she is not having her most basic needs met, which is simply not the case. How can we help her, and how should we be responding to her self-victimization?
Resources:
- Creating a Family Online Facebook Support Group
- Helping a Child Heal from Trauma
- Self-Care for Foster Parents
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Previous Episode
Help, I Don't Think I Can Continue With This Adoption!
March 5, 2025
•44m
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Are you really struggling with your adoption and feeling you've made a huge mistake? Listen to this interview with Lindsay Lanham, MSW. She works at Holt International and is the author of the online article “Predictors of Adoption Disruption and Dissolution: A Literature Review.”
In this episode, we cover:
- Difference between an adoption disruption and adoption dissolution.
- What causes an adoption to fail? What causes parents to say: “Help, I don’t think I can continue this adoption?”
- Child-related factors:
- Child’s age
- Child’s behavior
- Aggression or children who sexually act out
- Are sibling placements more stable?
- Adoptive parent-related factors:
- Demographic characteristics? (age, marital status, parenting experience, income, race)
- Parental expectations
- Parenting style
- Relationship prior to the adoptive placement
- Characteristics of parents in successful adoptions
- Adoption professional-related factors:
- Identify problems quickly and provide support
- How to address children who have experienced sexual abuse. “It is recommended that social workers universally prepare families for behaviors associated with sexual abuse trauma and the possible impact of sexual abuse. Adoptive families should have the language necessary to speak about child sexual abuse and know how to access supportive resources in their community, such as child advocacy centers, prior to placement.”
- What should parents do when they realize that the adoption isn’t going as they had hoped/planned?
- Identify the problem quickly and get support.
- Reset expectations
- Self-care
- Get help
- What should parents do if they are reaching the point where they want to dissolve an adoption?
Resource: Predictors of Adoption Disruption and Dissolution: A Literature Review
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Next Episode
Adopting Siblings: Issues to Consider
March 12, 2025
•50m
Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Are you considering adopting a sibling group? Join us for this interview with Deborah Bass Artis, MSW and Senior Program Director of Foster Care to Permanency with Children’s Home Society of NC.
In this episode, we discuss:
- Why is it important to keep siblings together when placed for foster care or adoption?
- Advantages to adopting siblings.
- Special issues to consider
- Integrating siblings with children already in the family
- Involve children already in the family
- Get your support network in place before you adopt
- Suggested books for helping siblings understand adoption.
- Parentified child
- Tips for handling a parentified child.
- Overcoming unhealthy dynamics from their past
- One child was the favorite in their previous family or families.
- Sibling rivalry
- When is it not a good idea to keep siblings together?
- Consider your motivation carefully- be honest with yourself and your partner about your desire to adopt a sibling group.
- Tips for parents adopting or fostering a sibling group
- Educate yourself before opening your home to a sibling group- it always helps to have realistic expectations
- Be patient with yourselves and the children- it’s a big adjustment for everyone.
- Develop your support system ahead of time.
- Take care of yourself. Spending time on things that are important to you is not selfish!
- If married, ensure your marriage/partnership remains strong- it is the foundation of your family’s health.
- If single, maintain your friendships. You need to have a life outside of your children.
- Find individual time with each child in the family
- Pay attention to each child’s interests and personality and create opportunities for those to grow. Don’t treat the sibling group as a unit.
- Seek out professional support for the family when needed.
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
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