I Really Don't Want an Open Adoption! - Weekend Wisdom
Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care
06/27/26
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Question: We have applied to adopt a baby. We’re more or less being told that if we don’t agree to an open adoption, we’ll never get chosen by a birth mom. But, I really don’t want an open adoption. I think kids need just one mom and dad and opening up our family to others will just be confusing for everyone. But, I’m afraid that we’ll never get chosen if I say this.
Resources:
- Open Adoption (Resource page)
- Listening to Adoptee Voices
- Understanding the Birth Parents’ Experience
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Previous Episode
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Parenting neurodiverse tweens and teens can feel overwhelming, especially when traditional parenting strategies don’t seem to work. In this episode, we talk with Carl Young and Joel Sheagren, co-authors of Embracing Hope: Innovative Strategies to Empower Parents Raising Neurodiverse Teens, about practical, brain-based strategies to reduce conflict, support emotional regulation, strengthen connection, and navigate the hard seasons with more hope.
In this episode, we discuss:
- What are parents of tweens and teens carrying right now that you know they want people to understand?
- Why do the tween and teen years often become especially hard for neurodiverse kids and their caregivers?
- One of the themes in your work is “understanding over stigma.” Can you tell us what that means?
- What are examples of behaviors parents are often blamed for, or blamed on the child, that may actually be rooted in neurodevelopmental differences?
- Many parents feel confused because traditional parenting advice doesn’t seem to work for their child with neurodiversity.
- Can you explain executive functioning in a way that helps overwhelmed parents understand what their child is actually struggling with day to day?
- What are some real-life ways those struggles show up at home?
- What are some common expectations we place on tweens and teens that may not match their developmental abilities?
- How can parents shift toward more reasonable expectations without giving up on growth?
- What are some practical strategies to reduce conflict at home while still maintaining structure and boundaries?
- We understand that self-regulation is a learned skill that comes from years of our own regulation and then sharing it with our kids, called co-regulation. What does co-regulation actually look like with a tween or teen who is escalating emotionally?
- How can parents respond differently to behaviors like impulsivity, shutdowns, avoidance, perseveration, or lying?
- Many caregivers say they feel like they’re “walking on eggshells.” It’s exhausting and creates so much stress in our homes.
- Where do you recommend families start when the home has fallen into a state of constant stress or chaos?
- How can parents introduce and maintain the “calm” in spite of the chaos that our kids’ neurodivergence may bring with it?
- What helps parents hold onto a connection with their child during seasons when everyone feels frustrated or discouraged?
- Sometimes families need help redefining success. How do you encourage parents to rethink what thriving can look like for neurodiverse tweens and teens?
Resources:
- Embracing Neurodiversity
- Embracing Hope: Innovative Strategies to Empower Parents Raising Neurodiverse Teens
- Raising Kids with Neurodiversity (ADHD, Autism, & Learning Differences)
- Suggested books for Raising Kids with Learning You
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
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What should you consider when preparing to become a host family to a child who is eligible for international adoption? We talk with Misty Lucas, an International Program Director at Gladney Center for Adoption.
In this episode, we talk about:
- For listeners new to this topic, what is a child hosting program, and what are the goals of hosting today?
- How have hosting programs changed in recent years, especially around ethics and child welfare practices?
- What types of children most commonly participate in hosting programs (ages, sibling groups, common needs, etc.)?
- Are children typically already eligible for adoption before participating?
- What does it look like to be a host family?
- What types of families tend to thrive in hosting programs
- What does it mean to advocate for a child during hosting?
- What signs may suggest a family is not ready?
- What kind of screening, training, and preparation do host families typically complete?
- How much information do families usually receive about a child beforehand?
- How should families prepare the children already living in their home?
- Are there special considerations for families whose children already have trauma histories or who were adopted themselves?
- Why is it so important for host families to understand trauma before hosting?
- How does trauma commonly show up during hosting, especially in a short-term environment?
- What behaviors or emotional responses should families realistically expect?
- What are common mistakes well-intentioned host families make?
- Hosting programs can raise strong criticisms and concerns. What are the most common criticisms or misunderstandings about hosting?
- How do ethical programs work to reduce a child’s feelings of being “chosen” or evaluated?
- How are children prepared emotionally before they travel?
- How do programs and host families work to avoid creating false hope for children?
- What does a typical hosting session look like? How long, what to do, etc.
- What activities and support should host families expect during hosting?
- What financial realities should families understand before committing?
- Can families host even if they are unsure about adoption?
- If a family decides they want to pursue adoption, what typically happens next?
- What does that process and timeline often look like?
- What is emotionally difficult for families after a child returns home while adoption decisions are pending?
- Are the children made aware of a potential adoption plan once hosting is over?
- What does a successful hosting experience look like from the child’s perspective?
- What’s one thing you hope every prospective host family understands before beginning?
Resources:
- Gladney Center for Adoption, Hosting Program
- Hosting Package from CreatingaFamilyEd.org
- Is Our Family Right for an “Orphan” Hosting Program? 7 Questions to Ask
- Prepare for Hosting an International Orphan
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
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