How to Raise a Child Who Will Thrive
Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care
06/18/21
•54m
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What are the 7 essential character traits that parents can teach their children to increase resiliency? In this episode we talk with Dr. Michelle Borba, an internationally renowned educational psychologist and author of Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine.
In this episode, we cover:
- You paint a picture in your book of tweens, teens and young adults who are stressed, anxious, depressed, and lonesome. Why are our kids experiencing this?
- Importance of play.
- Importance of sleep.
- 7 essential character traits of a child who will thrive both in childhood and adolescence but also into adulthood.
- Self-Confidence
- What is the difference between self confidence and self-esteem?
- How does parental praise factor into teaching self-confidence?
- How do you teach self-confidence?
- Empathy
- Why is empathy so important to resilience?
- How do you teach empathy or at the very least encourage it?
- How does our modern technology impact empathy?
- Self-Control
- What is self-control in children?
- How do we teach self-control?
- Integrity
- How do you define integrity?
- How can we help our kids develop integrity?
- Curiosity
- Why is curiosity important for thriving?
- What can we do or not do to encourage curiosity?
- Perseverance
- What causes kids to give up?
- What can parents do to help?
- Optimism
- Is optimism an inborn temperament or one that can be taught?
- If you could leave parents with 5 actionable tips for raising a “thriver”, what would they be.
This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
· Weekly podcasts
· Weekly articles/blog posts
· Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Previous Episode
Partnering with Birth Parents in Foster Care
June 11, 2021
•45m
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Call it co-parenting, shared parenting, or partnership parenting, the gist is the same: foster parents are expected to share the nurturing of a foster child with the birth parents to facilitate reunification whenever possible. Join us today to talk about shared parenting with Carrie Sgarlata, an educator, mom, foster mom, and foster parent trainer and recruiter; and Andrea Leaman, a social worker with the Foster Care Licensing and Placement Program with Children’s Wisconsin Community Services and trainer in partnership parenting.
In this episode, we covered:
1. Why is shared parenting best for the child? (less divided loyalty, foster parents can be a role model, less time in foster care, better behavior, majority of kids will return home and co-parenting makes that easier)
2. Building a relationship that begins when someone’s child is removed is not easy. What are some of the emotions the birth parents are likely feeling when they first meet the foster parent? (fear, confusion, denial, anger, embarrassment, feeling that the authorities over-reacted, shame, grief, betrayal, sadness, uncertainty, taking their child away, loss of control)
3. How to build a relationship of co-parenting?
- a. Start with compassion
- b. Lower expectations
- c. Reassure them that you are only here to help not adopt their child
- d. Show a picture of where the child is staying
- e. Don’t take things personally? (be the more emotionally stable person) Realize that you are seeing these people at likely the worst moment of their life.
- f. Go the extra mile
- g. Language matters: refer to the child as their child.
- h. Treat them with dignity and respect.
- i. Go the extra mile to make it easier or less awkward for them.
- j. Ask birth parents questions about the child, her likes, dislikes, fears, etc.
- k. Send pictures, share artwork, share cute stories
4. Communication between birth and adoptive parents is key to success. Ideas for setting up good communication. How to communicate between visits?
5. How to handle visits to facilitate co-parenting?
6. How to overcome our own anger and judgement towards birth parents?
7. How to establish healthy boundaries?
8. Is it possible to do partnership parenting with incarcerated parents?
9. How to handle Social media
10. Becoming a parenting mentor to birth parents. What are some skills that birth parents may need help developing and how can foster parents help? (importance of routine, working with the school, discipline, normal child developmental stages, how to find community support)
11. How can we help birth parents shift their attitude towards the foster care system from existing to keep them from their children towards existing to help stabilize the family?
12. What if:
- a. What if the birth parent abused the child?
- b. What if the birth parents don’t accept responsibility for what they did that caused the child to be removed?
- c. What if the birth parent lies about what happened that resulted in the child being removed?
This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:<
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Next Episode
Adopting a Relative from Abroad
June 25, 2021
•55m
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What issues should parents think about when adopting a relative (niece, cousin, sibling) from abroad. We talk with Mary Beth King, who has a Master of Science in Social Administration and is Frank Adoption Center’s Executive Director, and with Katie Schultz, an International Adoption Specialist with Madison Adoption Associates.
In this episode, we cover,
- What level of genetic relationship is required to call it a kinship adoption as well as what circumstances make a child eligible for an international kinship adoption, especially in the eyes of USCIS.
- At what age is a child no longer eligible for international kinship adoption?
- Changing relationship for both adopter and child – to go from the “cool, exotic US visitor” to everyday caregiver.
- Relationship with bio family in home country.
- Helping children navigate (and choose) the language of family – will they continue to refer to you as “aunt” or will you be “mom,” etc.
- Blending children by birth and this newly adopted child.
- Understanding that trauma and loss are still a part of the child’s story even though they are remaining in their biological extended family.
- It can take a long time for relative adoptions to come to fruition, the child can be much older than when the family started the process and so helping families adjust to the fact that they may be bringing home an older child can be challenging.
- Helping families embrace pre-adoption education as necessary even though they have experience in parenting or they know this child and therefore don't need education on how to parent.
- Recognizing that the child’s immigrant experience will be different than your own and how to separate the two.
- One parent not related and maybe not been an immigrant.
- Navigating two identities, for example - Preparing your child to embrace their identity not just as a Cameroonian, but also as a Black American.
- Managing expectations of cultural changes – Understanding that these children are very likely to take on cultural norms of America kids and teens which may be different than the parent-child relationship expectations of your country of origin
- Understanding the importance of hobbies, sports, extracurricular activities, play time, etc. in addition (and sometimes even as backseat to) academics, especially as kids adjust to these big changes, make new friends, and heal from trauma and loss
- Navigating the American school system and understanding that grade levels don’t always translate internationally. Accessing services to help the child transition.
- Adjusting to parenting as an older parent. Things may have changed since they parented last.
This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
· Weekly podcasts
· Weekly articles/blog posts
· Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
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