
Disclosing Donor Conception to Our Kids
Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care
05/04/22
•59m
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Have you conceived through donor conception or are you considering this? Join us for the fascinating dive into disclosing (or not) this information to your child. We will talk with Dr. Patricia E. Hershberger, Associate Professor at the College of Nursing and Affiliate Professor at the College of Medicine, Dept. of Obstetrics & Gynecology, at the University of Illinois in Chicago.
In this episode, we cover:
- How common is donor conception in the US? In other countries?
- What percentage of parents in heterosexual couples tell their child of their donor conception?
- Is there a difference in the percentage of parents disclosing donor conception with children conceived by donor sperm, donor egg, or donor embryo?
- Is there a difference in the willingness to discuss surrogacy with children?
- What does the research show about how many parents that say they are going to tell actually do tell by age 5 or age 10 or age 15?
- Is there a difference of opinion in the professional field on whether children should be told? On whether professionals should counsel patients to tell their child?
- The impact of over-the-counter genetic testing on parents’ willingness to disclose donor conception and infertility professionals’ willingness to encourage disclosure.
- Genetics study in school also raises questions
- Is telling more common in same sex couples?
- What are the motivating factors for parents who have told?
- What reasons do parents give for not telling their child?
- Is unresolved grief over their infertility (if infertility was a factor) a motivating factor for not telling?
- Research has found that there are two general approaches behind when to tell children about their conception by donor sperm, egg, or embryo: “seed planting” and “right time”.
- What is the average age that parents tell their child about their conception via donor sperm, egg, or embryo?
- What word do parents use to describe the donor to the child? Does this word differ based on whether the parent is in a heterosexual partnership, a same-sex partnership, or is single?
- How do parents talk about donor conception? If a two-parent household, which parent usually tells?
- Is there a general story-line that parents use when disclosing donor conception to the child?
- What does the research show about how donor conceived children feel about donor conception? Does it impact the quality of family functioning in a positive or negative way?
- Use of children’s books.
- What role could infertility professionals, especially nurses, play in disclosure decisions for infertility patients?
- Should nurses, or other professionals, encourage disclosure?
- How can they support following through on disclosure of donor conception?
This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Previous Episode

A Panel of Birth Moms Talk About Adoption
April 27, 2022
•54m
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We talk with a panel of birth moms about their adoption experience. What is the adoption experience for birth mothers and what do they think of some of the controversies in adoption, such as pre-birth matching, adoptive parents at the hospital, adoptive mother breastfeeding, etc.
In this episode, we cover:
- Tell us what your child’s adoption looks like.
- What are your ideas on:
- Options counseling being provided by adoption agencies—is there a conflict of interest.
- Pre-birth matching
- Some have stated that an infant should go into temporary or foster care for a time (usually 1-2 months) between birth and placement as a revocation period.
- Fundraising for adoption
- Adoptive parent breastfeeding.
- What did you look for in adoptive parents?
- There is a lot of talk in adoption world about subtle and not so subtle forms of coercion that could influence a mom’s decision to place.
- Hopeful adoptive parents attend doctor appointments.
- Adoptive parents being present at the birth and at the hospital?
- How involved do you think adoptive parents should be at the hospital?
- Openness:
- How was openness described to you before the adoption.Does the reality of open adoption match what was promised.
- Benefit and limitations of post adoption contracts. (Did you understand open adoption wasn’t enforceable (may depend upon the state)?)
- Ethical adoption practices that expectant parents considering adoption should know about.
- Tips for birth parents and adoptive parents to look for in adoption agencies to make sure they are choosing an ethical agency as to how they treat expectant and birth parents.
- Importance of separate legal counsel for birth parents.
This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Next Episode

Raising a Blended Family
May 11, 2022
•31m
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Representative Marjorie Margolies had a busy career as a journalist, author, Congressional Representative, professor, and founder of Women’s Campaign International all while raising 11 kids by adoption, birth, sponsorship, and marriage. She is the author of a new memoir And How Are the Children.
In this episode, we cover:
- How did each of your children join your family?
- How did you “blend” children that came to you in different ways, with different backgrounds, and different ages?
- What were the biggest challenges?
- Did some of your children struggled? How much do you think the way they came to your family impacted their struggles?
- What did you learn along the way?
This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
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